Roland Mechanik

comedian currently based in my bed. He/him

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

millennials: no, your MOM has the worst sense of humor!!!

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

no one:
t dicks:

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

Genevieve and Shanae as enemies: “fuck you, bitch!!!”

Genevieve and Shanae as best friends: “fuck you, bitch!!! LYLAS!”

#WYATR @ArdenMyrin @annahossnieh

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

After getting chased out of paradise, Peter could be heard yelling “B-B-B-B-BONERRRRRR!!!!!” while fucking a pizza American-Pie style. #WYATR @ArdenMyrin @annahossnieh

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

#WYATR @ArdenMyrin @annahossnieh how bachelor contestants look lounging on a day bed in paradise vs how I would look:

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

weird choice that brandon decided to wear michelle’s dad’s swim trunks to paradise, but you do you @ArdenMyrin @annahossnieh #WYATR

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

me after forcing myself to watch straight people kiss on bachelor in paradise:

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

mike white to all the other emmy nominees

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

TURN OFF MOTION SETTINGS FIR THE LOVE OF GOD

[Rian Johnson @rianjohnson]

As we convene at family homes and rental homes and hotel rooms with televisions that need our help, a reminder…

[Rian Johnson @rianjohnson]

As we convene at family homes and rental homes and hotel rooms with televisions that need our help, a reminder…

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

@becgo Hahahahaha

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

this week on survivor... #Survivor41

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

this was the reward on tonight’s episode of survivor #Survivor41 #deaddory

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

tfw ur working at ur desk and feel a lil tickle on foot and look down to see sea of ants on and surrounding feet mmm I’m awake

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

@kritzrackerz Hmmm can u ordain ur own wedding?!

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

i guess I’d say my type is “surgical skin salesman” #TheBacheloretteABC @katiethurston

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

@scarletkmeyer But i completed all the levels and was in the elite sea org aka advance study classes !!

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

@scarletkmeyer Wait how do we get a certificate

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

@DivaLaci @ScamGoddessPod I'm Looking For An Apartment And It's An Automatic Scam When Every Word In The Email Is Capitalized !! Two Spaces After Each Sentence !!

[Roland Mechanik @rolaxdontdoit]

@adampally Charles Bucket and Grandfather Joseph