Roni In

I'm drowning in the adult end of the pool, and the lifeguard is off in the bathroom pooping. -Burt Macklin

[Roni In @ronikimin]

The skinny feeling you get after you poop in the morning >>

[BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed]

This dad realized philly cheesesteaks were the perfect way to chart his baby's growth
https://t.co/9Z8CMyLw9Y

[Roni In @ronikimin]

SERVER RANT: if I'm standing there w my hands full of food please pay attention and listen when I call out your food instead of ignoring me

[Roni In @ronikimin]

Walked out of Walmart w vodka, turkey bacon and pork rinds and ran into Travis Scott and one guy from Migos

[Roni In @ronikimin]

My uber driver looks like the kinda person who would kill me and steal my baby if I were pregnant...

[Roni In @ronikimin]

How to make me happy

[Roni In @ronikimin]

@kaycee_shasteen @oxminaox NO

[Roni In @ronikimin]

My drunk boyfriend dedicated his burrito to me last night LOL

[Roni In @ronikimin]

Hahaha newest of news for me: eating a slice of cheese pizza while on the toilet.

[Roni In @ronikimin]

Upcoming: Mexico, Pot of Gold, and now COACHELLA 😱😭😭😍 okay okay

[Roni In @ronikimin]

In 8 hours I'll be on the road heading to Page for the weekend w bae but also I need to do laundry and shower and pack and save 4 dogs

[Roni In @ronikimin]

My boss can't text me back about the schedule but she just liked me FB post🙃

[Roni In @ronikimin]

When a boy gets you two Valentine's Day gifts but you didn't get him anything........ awkward.

[Roni In @ronikimin]

*goes to Scottsdale alone*
Boy: where are your friends? Did you come here alone?

😂😂🤷🏻‍♀️

[BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed]

13 people who have no idea what seasoning is https://t.co/5rwSQXPsOD

[Roni In @ronikimin]

I'm hanging with a bunch of 26 year old couples and this girl goes "hi husband!!!" And it just got me really stoked for the future

[Roni In @ronikimin]

"Instead of going to a nice dinner for Valentine's Day, want to go sky diving?"

😱😍

[Roni In @ronikimin]

"You're 21!!!!!! And you're not taking a shot?!? This is why you don't have friends."

IM A GRANDMA fuck off 😭😭 I don't need friends

[BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed]

This Boston bombing survivor is now engaged to the firefighter who helped save her life https://t.co/IClWGTvBFi

[Roni In @ronikimin]

I had the chance to take a picture with Jake Lamb and Archie Bradley last night but I didn't have the balls to ask bc I'm a lil bitch 🙃🙃🙃🙃

[Roni In @ronikimin]

"'You don't have a boyfriend, drunkass!!!' Is literally your life in a nutshell." -my roommate