Matt

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[Coby Bryant @_CobyBryant_]

🫡

[Chicago History ™️ @Chicago_History]

Is this your GOAT of all Chicago commercials?

#ChicagoHistory ☑️

[jackass @jackassworld]

From @realjknoxville: Well a wang dang and doodle, I’m happier than a proctologist with a new flashlight to announce that Jackass: Best and Last will hit the theaters June 26th!! #jackassmovie #jackassbestandlast #wahoo

[Matt @roninarc]

@kfishbain Congrats!

[Brian Hiatt @hiattb]

Just saw a tweet with a George Clinton talking about how the Beatles were his favorite band, which reminded me of this quote he once gave me

[Erik @thepoolshark]

Sports fans, when you watch these chuds talk trash about athletes, this is the type of person doing it, lol

[Dave NewBlood @DaveOshry]

For context: other than Prince just being Prince - that year Rolling Stone did a list of the 100 greatest guitar players of all time - and Prince wasn't on it - so he said aight bet lol

[Matt @roninarc]

@DozierDozierDoz If only she was 100 yrs younger, BB could bring her as his date to the 2027 HOF ceremony!

[Matt @roninarc]

@TheRealGerk @XfinitySupport @Xfinity Dude, it’s not working for you!?!? Again!!! Ditch them immediately.

[Barry @BarryOnHere]

Unironically one of the best throws any QB has ever made.

[Albert Breer @AlbertBreer]

Considering circumstances, one of the craziest throws I’ve ever seen.

[Matt @roninarc]

@kfishbain Congrats Fishman! You are the reason I subscribe to @TheAthletic

[Isiah Whitlock Jr. @IsiahWhitlockJr]

#280characters? Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-it!

[Interesting AF @interesting_aIl]

Frozen river ice breaking apart due to strong water flow underneath

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

they’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. santa’s been delivering gifts in japan for hours by now; that list is locked, do whatever you want.

[PFF @PFF]

The highest-graded throw of the 2025 season:

CALEB WILLIAMS TO DJ MOORE 🚀

[Chicago Bears @ChicagoBears]

WALK IT OFF.

#WPMOYChallenge + @idjmoore