ronney brian

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@C_NyaKundiH Kiulizo tuu bullying iliisha ama bado??

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@byron_opondo @C_NyaKundiH The last time I checked walikua na 10.11ama something but kuiba mitihani ni nambari moja

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@OchiengAthoo @MutembeiTV Walaji wakuu hawa

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@Broadbasedgal Ni kutafuta mapeni dada lazima uonyeshane unateseka ndio upewe hela... Mchezo ya town hiii

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@KenyaPower_Care Hi at Kenya power am having an issue with my token please can you assist

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@LarryMadowo My Lord I wonder🤔🤔🤔🤔

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@lawrencekitema Use the word may.... Optional

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@itskipronoh Am in embu town and what I can say ni kubaya kaka hatujafungua job leo pia

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@JaberNyiri_ @vinguard254 Hii ndio nilikua natafuta 🤣🤣🤣

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@HowardLumumba @p4trickMB @lindahoguttu @WilliamsRuto Exactly🤜🤜

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@alexcellency Kenyans before electing kasongo and kenyans during kasongo regime

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Kaluma’s Russian Roulette: The Night of Manyungulus Mayhem.

It was on November 3rd, in the frosty corridors of St. Petersburg, Russia, when Hon. Kaluma tragically lost his manyungulus virginity in an international scandal that would later be nicknamed Operation Nyashnikov. The United Nations had graciously invited Kenyan delegates to attend the Annual UNCAC Conference.

But Kaluma, fueled by wanderlust and suspicious levels of testosterone, decided to bribe his way onto the list; not to contribute to anti-corruption discussions, but to fulfill his dream of becoming an indigenous tourist from Homabay in the land of vodka and vixens.

Now, Kaluma is a seasoned consumer of Homabay nyash, the dark-thighed Nyakos with sianda-madwong type that comes with obambla scents. But when he touched down in Russia, he was met with yellow-yellow babes with thighs like solar panels and tirries pointed at Ukraine, as if scanning for NATO drones.

As expected of a certified horny village elder, Kaluma asked his Russian taxi driver where he could find women who offer “value addition services” to quench his thirst. Like any good cab guy, the Russian driver Jack Kanderevich knew the drill and drove him to Club Chwoom, the Babylon of St. Petersburg.

Kaluma was instantly overwhelmed. One lady with golden thighs, hips like Hotspot signal, and lips shaped like Eurobond deals approached him. He asked for a quote, and she gave him a figure so high he briefly forgot which house committee he chairs.

“Eeish Omera, Why is it this expensive?” Kaluma asked. The lady replied with a seductive pout: “Because I’m a virgin.” We Ouliskiiaa wapi Malaya fachiin! Kaluma, a proud mumu and founding member of Kumi Bila Brains, didn’t even verify. He paid up and entered the valley of the shadow of Ndethe, ready to taste the instruments of power.

But alas! The experience was underwhelming. Kaluma was sober, but alijipata amelala kwa mtaro. What our boy didn't know is that his dignity was confiscated and his manyungulus was in danger that night.

But I don't think the lady's IKUS was overstretched, according to local milayas who always come out to expose Kaluma, it's said he has a shortsleeved makagare, only suitable for solo practice yani mastabesheen, and even then, he's not assured of satisfaction.

Feeling shortchanged, Kaluma refused to pay. His excuse? “She wasn’t a virgin!” Bro, it’s 21st century, where on Earth do you find a virgin prostitute? Outraged, Kaluma allegedly slapped the lady & forced himself on her with another round of horizontal engineering, Kenyan style.

But things took a sharp turn. The lady left and returned with a squad of eight “ladies”, all with sianda-madwong and suspiciously square jaws. Kaluma, still optimistic, assumed it was God answering his prayers with an orgy. But shock on him!

These were not ladies. They were Russian transgenders, also part of the value addition union. Before Kaluma could even shout “How much”, pants dropped, and boom,,, everyone had RPG launchers in their trousers. Descendant of Jaramogi aliona makagare kubwa kubwa hakuamini.

What followed was a 3-hour reverse engineering session. Kaluma was re-introduced to value addition services biz, but this time, from the receiving department. The bed became a crime scene. He cried in Homabay, but the moans were in Russian.

After the smoke cleared, Kaluma was arrested for assaulting the “virgin” lady. Were it not for swift intervention by the Kenyan government, our beloved son of the soil would still be in Russian prison eating BUTTerNUT soup with scones and reading Putin’s Guide to Discipline.

Kaluma's predicaments should serve as a lesson to those leaders who have a habit of enjoying the instruments of power without paying for it. May Yehova Wanyonyi remember his manyungulus, but again, he deserves it. Kama kawa sisi walala hoi hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

[CHEBOSENGERE👑 @MCKTV2]

Apo Kwa marriage mnieleze kama mtoto mdogo...👀

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@NjeruCyro @RobertAlai @lindahoguttu @DonaldBKipkorir And we shall celebrate it ...dark humor will be the odd of the day time will tell.

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@Wiizhkid @ledamalekina @WilliamsRuto Bwana nimekuja na petrol... Moto lazima iwake

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Theres is something else we must also talk about,Spirituality and rituals. Its a topic most of you brush off as "rumours" me included but i dont think I can ignore it anymore. Now,If these rituals were practiced by poor people only it would have been another story,but from what I see its the rich who are practicing them.

This means only two things,these people are extremely stupid for doing such practices or there is something they know that we dont understand. And it all goes back even to the first family,the kenyattas. A GSU who used to guard their home in Mombasa was saying he saw bad things,ati jamaa walipanda boat na Moi wakaenda kwa bahari and came back after 10 days just the way they left. Mara wameamshwa 3am wanaenda kwa altar na jamaa wamebeba nyungu,and they dont care if you tell anybody because nobody will believe you.

The other day somebody whispered to my ear that Khalwales bullfighting trainer didnt die by accident. I hear after the bull killed him it was slaughtered,A ritual was done and all the matumbos were removed and then Boni went inside it and slept there the whole night until morning. Ndani ya ngombe buana. I know you will dismiss this as Story ya jaba but i think its time we start Observing things more Meticulously.

Mambo inafanyika hii kenya sio mchezo. There was also a time the kakamega governor was filmed naked doing rituals naked,mtu amesoma ako na degreees zake. You want to tell me he would do such things if there wasnt something he got from it? This war and revolution we are in now wazee,we must prepare ourselves not only physically but also spiritually. Shetani ni Defol!

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@_falsi1ke Mwanamke umewahi fanya mapenzi nae .. Kwa asilimia 99.9%unaweza fanya mapenzi nae tena hata kama ameolewa ama akiwa single

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@Kenyans The old man should run to opoda waol kode

[ronney brian @ronney340]

@Miduma5 @RobertAlai @HEBabuOwino Jaduongno oyue koro we need new people oyieng gi mosechanogo