ronald

retired comedian for obvious reasons

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

Okay who said dieting is hard??

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

Step 1: eat pizza rolls
Step 2: why does my stomach hurt?
Step 3: repeat

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

Before washing my face: IM AT MY BREAKING POINT BITCH

After washing my face: maybe I’ll go on a lil walksie in the morn? 😋

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

Either way none of us should be working with heavy machinery at 8 am

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

Having coworkers that are 5 years younger than me is thrilling because they’re exhausted from attending a house show at 2 am and I’m exhausted from thinking about my mortgage

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

My favorite spirit week day as an adult is Dress For Distress!

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

MTA actually stands for:
Metropolitan
Transit
Ain’t no cell service in here

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

I can’t go back to B.A.F (before air fryer)

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

Not even a fire hazard recall could make me give my air fryer back

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

You can’t take Airiana! She’s not just a small appliance she’s family!

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

Happy Father’s Day week :)

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

I don’t want a sugar daddy, I just want a dad!

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

I forgot about twitter

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

@ClimbthePole

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

Why does my fiancé make me take a shower and complete my skin care routine when I’m WASTED ???? The audacity.

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

YMCA complimentary coffee just hits different

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

I’ve got a small cut on my finger and my life is shit because of it

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

Doesn’t matter if it’s tears of joy/laughter/ puppies, you’re getting a fine for $70 USD + tip.

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

It’s a felony to make a girl cry less than 24 hours after getting lash extensions !

[ronald @ronnie_comedy]

@KimKardashian $ronniemillercomedy 😭😭😭