the rotionator 🫨

[friend o’ lesbians @xbigxslimex]

“Suggested for you” and it’s the Enemy

[Billy Hype @hypedsoul1]

Impregnating different women so that all my kids could be firstborns >>>

[Limbo Vibes @mon_starr_17]

“You’re either a male. Or you’re a female”

“Anakin only a Sith deals in absolutes!”

[Xent @Xentx0]

Don't let the fact that I'm deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you're in the presence of a genius.

[owen cyclops @owenbroadcast]

yeah i have a gambling addiction. i can’t stop betting on myself

[Ryan Geddie @RyanGeddie]

Absurdly brutal chart wow

[Andrew Forte @AndrewAsksHow]

Everyone is always rooting for you. Your parents want you to be a great son. Wife wants you to be a great husband. Your boss wants you to be a slam dunk hire. Every first date you’ve ever been on they’ve been rooting for you to get laid. Every time you started to tell a joke people hoped it would have a hilarious punch line. Your proximity to anyone is a reflection of themself, meaning the deck is never stacked against you, and your failures are completely your own

[✦ eve ✦ @impossiblyeve]

*at the poop drive thru* uhhh can i get a number 2

[ً @ImAVeteran_]

Crazy how much there is

Like in general

[tacocat @spat_la_spatule]

Bro last night was an ai generated tiktok short bro

[k. @shallowgreys]

not my rabbit not my hole

[Dennis @DennissMCI]

Man City vs PSG on Wednesday

[Drebin @Dmitri_kashkov]

The guys at alfa and mazda are the only ones still doing a couple lines of coke to activate their creative juices

[walking contradiction 😪 @SonnyQuagen]

Reverse psychology won’t work on me try reverse cowgirl tho

[S V 🏆 @Sup3rbobb]

Look at the stats Yamal gets to claim because of Merino 🤣🤣

[cigs @AngryVoter2024]

If babies could talk they would tell you they like the smell of weed