Rory✌️

firm believer in manifesting

[Rory✌️ @rory_goad_06]

alright i found the mistle its not as bad 🙏

[Rory✌️ @rory_goad_06]

this boss run back is fucking insane too like?????

[Rory✌️ @rory_goad_06]

they key was in the other area the whole time omfg i’m gonna lose it

[Rory✌️ @rory_goad_06]

whoever designed the area in code vein called hills of deception just know that i hate you forever

[Heralen 🍜 @Heralen]

This is the worst (and funniest) email I've ever received

I finally get contacted by what seems to be a real youtube support agent, but holy shit I should've known better

It calls ME ANGELA and ITSELF ALLEN, then proceeds to still give me absolutely no real info

clown show

[Heralen 🍜 @Heralen]

I just found out this morning that my entire YouTube channel has been demonetized for "Misleading family content". I was given no additional details about how this was violated, which videos did it, or anything.

This goes without saying but it's extremely upsetting

1/x

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[Keith McMillan @D3Keith]

Philly traded a 29-year-old disgruntled and possibly misunderstood Brown in the prime of his career to New England, and Boston sent one right back.

[Rory✌️ @rory_goad_06]

@thomasrp93 Let’s be for real, wasn’t Cam playing injured all through last year?

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Philadelphia Phillies @Phillies]

A record that stood for 115 years now belongs to Cristopher Sánchez

[Philadelphia Phillies @Phillies]

29.2 STRAIGHT SCORELESS INNINGS
13 STRIKEOUTS
HIS FOURTH COMPLETE GAME
HIS SECOND COMPLETE GAME SHUTOUT

#RingTheBell

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

YouTuber ChilledChaos has announced he is retiring from content creation after nearly 20 years

He said he wants to explore life beyond his online persona

[Chilled Chaos @ChilledChaos]

Thanks for watching, Internet!

https://t.co/LbbqXzpG9l

[nmixx pics @nmixxpics_]

THE SCREAM I LET OUT WHEN I SEE THIS HAELY

[Eagles Fan Central @PhilaFanCentral]

Let me explain.

Philly fans have supported AJ through:

- 2-3 years of sideline moping/hissyfits
- passive aggressive social media posts after WINS
- admitting he cares about stats more than winning
- venting about his targets on Twitch streams
- Drops/poor effort in 2025 because he couldn’t control his emotions

Now he’s leaving the Eagles with a huge dead cap hit because he wants out of a contract that he signed through 2028.

Philly gave AJ his best seasons and a championship.

AJ turned on Philly, not the other way around.

This isn’t on the fans.

[Rory✌️ @rory_goad_06]

@kkurachio best part for me is kkura locking in so fast 😂 i would’ve been dying

[Rory✌️ @rory_goad_06]

@80swoni forgot she was in public 😭

[Sidemen @Sidemen]

This is what he does!