Ross McDaniel

One time I successfully performed the Heimlich Maneuver on a lady and she gave me a Miller Lite

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

Hell is finding out magic is real and you're a muggle.

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

Nothing is scarier than seeing a zookeeper running in the opposite way of where you're heading

[Dallas Zoo @DallasZoo]

The Zoo is closed today due to a serious situation.

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

@ThisIsRexSteele Well pick 'em up!

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

WPS!

[Jezebel @Jezebel]

Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes Come Out of Hiding https://t.co/TA0FluTGKx

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

Is Cage the name of the elephant or instructions for what to do with said elephant?

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

How to write an effective fragrance ad in two easy steps:

1) trip balls
2) write down what you see *verbatim*

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

@kylebedamned And they did not let up

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

@JCHester22 @ClerksMovie It’s a two-way street homie. I wouldn’t have survived 5+ years there without you.

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

In fairness it's literally the most interesting thing he's ever done

[Sports Illustrated @SInow]

Social media blasts Drew Brees and PointsBet for tasteless ‘lightning’ marketing stunt https://t.co/Z5bC5XxiyO

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

Wait, it's December? What's next? January? 2023? Absolutely fucking not.

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

Phew-S-A!

[FootballJOE @FootballJOE]

Thanks for clarifying Christian

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

And the award for Best Picture goes to

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

The first trailer for ‘COCAINE BEAR’ has been released.

The film releases on February 24 in theaters.

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

He sacrificed future generations of the Pulisic family for his country

[Sports Illustrated @SInow]

Christian Pulisic comes up BIG for the #USMNT!

(via @FOXSoccer)

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

My previous USA jerseys did not produce the results we wanted in matches 1 and 2. It's time to invoke the name of our one true Soccer God

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

Jesus anytime Hugh Freeze invokes his name

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

Jordan Pickford looks like a Peaky Blinder who would be introduced and killed off in under 8 minutes.

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

Drinking at Gambling on the
the airport World Cup

🤝
Sinning at 7am

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

but her emails

[Kyle Griffin @kylegriffin1]

A Missouri judge has ruled that staff in the state attorney general's office — while it was being run by Republican Josh Hawley — used private email accounts to "knowingly and purposefully" subvert the state's open records law. https://t.co/zdeiGP3Vy2

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

hell hath no fury like a Swifty scorned

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

well there goes the name I had picked out for my firstborn

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Rainn Wilson of ‘The Office’ has changed his name to Rainnfall Heat Wave Extreme Winter to protest climate change.

[Ross McDaniel @rossmcdaniel]

Attention shoppers, black friday has been moved up to June 12