Ross Zimmerman

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

My daughter calls coffee “happy.” I think she gets it.

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

Hot dogs are just acid reflux in a sausage casing

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

@STYXtheBand — I’ve never been more proud to be in the top 0.01% of anything in my life. You guys Rock. Keep on rockin’

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

Our dog has started taking alone time from us. Soooo that’s where we’re at...

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

Balls out for Passover

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

I AM THE FLOYD MAYWEATHER OF WII PUNCH-OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

Al Stewart is lifting me through this Quarantine on the wings of a lavender-colored pegasus #yearofthecat

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

Pajama Pants - so hot right now

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

So you’re saying I’m stuck in my house with only HALF a box of Girl Scout Cookies?!?!?!

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

Not sure if I watched Vanderpump Rules or the Democratic Debates last night. All I remember is a bunch of people shouting over each other while throwing childish tantrums.

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

My favorite part of the debate was when @ewarren popped out her claws like Wolverine and ripped into Bloomberg’s chest cavity like an apex predator #YouveBeenWarrened

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

Yikes

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

Everyone at Dem Debate last night: "I'd love to answer your question, but I'd much rather wedge in a pre-scripted taking point I think will marginally increase my standing in the polls. Also, it conveniently rhymes and I'm going to say it again in Spanish."

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

Cool Ranch is the Matrix 2 of Doritos

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

With accompanying dark beer tasting, all these beers are highly recommended

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

It's the annual Lambeau Gold brew day

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

What Chicago did last night will forever be known as "The Trubisky"

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

BREAKING NEWS: Rick Perry has been tapped to lead the department of... uh... let me see... the EPA?

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

Right around when Roger slipped open the 4th sweaty button on his shirt I knew this would be the best concert I'll ever go to #DesertTrip

[Ross Zimmerman @RossZimm]

Netflix just made me watch an ad for Kimmy Schmidt to watch an episode of Kimmy Schmidt. Why, Netflix? Why?