Katy BP

Of the Anti-dog catcher/fear of quicksand generation || writer & producer of television

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

Hear me out: instead of blaming our living, breathing bodies for the way an inanimate object looks on it, we blame the OBJECT for the way it looks on our living, breathing body. Idk just try it out, see what shakes up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

@TheDanielNigro Hi- following up on this to say I knew it when i met you while high when you performed at the house of blues opening for mutemath that you would be the lesbian pop architect of the future.

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

About once every 2 mo I remember how good As Tall As Lions was and I get bummed that they no longer play. V sad cc to @TheDanielNigro

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

I wouldn’t trust RFKjr with a ham sandwich.

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

Maybe a funny anecdote every few songs? Listen, im not a scientist so i wont tell you how you how to do your job but think about it.

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

Dear @AppleMusic and @Spotify please create a setting while listening to a playlist or radio station where someone’s aunt goes “mmkay, and this one is called-“ and then tells me the name of the song. I need it to feel like she’s holding a paper out and squinting to read.

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

@707Adrok @SouthwestAir Okay, whatever you call someone masturbating at you, that. Whatever that is.

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

@SouthwestAir how come when I get sexually violated on a flight and had an almost paralyzing panic attack the flight attendants do nothing and then when I call to explain what happened to customer service they ask why I didn’t just move?

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

@SouthwestAir I did alert the flight attendants on board.

[Henry Winkler @hwinkler4real]

How did " My Body M y Choice " STOP at the mouth and arm

[Julie Roginsky @julieroginsky]

Maxwell trafficked these girls to somebody. Hold each and every one of those somebodies accountable.

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

3 yr old: oh god, it’s so embarrassing.
Me: what’s embarrassing, babe?
3 yr old: this whole life.

[Sarah Lazarus @sarahclazarus]

no new years resolutions. it is the circumstances turn to improve

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

Im at the point where when I watch a show and people are in public not wearing masks I panic

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

Sending me oatmeal raisin cookies is the equivalent of me waking up with a decapitated horse head in my bed.

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

The millennial urge to memorize any odd fact I come across JUST IN CASE I end up on Who Wants to be a Millionaire

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

I miss needing a planner.

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

There seems to be a lot of bounty hunting in the space future.

[Jeff Drake @hatethedrake]

The only 5G I’m interested in is g-g-g-g-ghosts.

[Katy BP @CraftyKaty]

Olaf Presents on Disney+ made me cry laugh. Go watch it.

[Jini Maxwell @astroblob]

I was writing alone at a bar and this guy comes up to me, stops at a respectful distance, and says, "just wanted to check on a scale of 1-10 how open you are to talking to a drunk stranger? I'm waiting for friends, but I can totally just leave you alone." A+, immaculate vibes

[Katie Gutierrez @katie_gutz]

At 4 weeks postpartum I was: sleeping 3 *nonconsecutive* hours a night; breastfeeding every 2 hours for at least 30 min a session, so about 6 hours a day; and bleeding through everything I wore. If men did this, the whole fucking world would be structured around parental leave.