@noquisin That's the realest part. People can try, and some people aren't ready. The relationships we value can vanish because of some poor choices. And its easy to lament over what could of been said.
Nah, as a person who has dealt with avoidant attachment issues. Its easy to feel like the moment YOU choose to be vulnerable. To instantly regret it cause some dick (normally family) teaches you that your feelings will be weaponized.
Ribbit literally just gave Jax space to talk.
Hot take: This is the moment I lost favor with Ribbit.
She told Jax something personal, then said it was her way of showing she trusted him. Then she asked if he trusted her.
That put him in an awkward, pressured position to open up before he was ready. He had already told her he was homeless, so clearly he was willing to share some things, just not everything.
The vibe is almost like someone undressing in front of you, saying, “This is me showing I trust you,” and then asking, “Do you trust me?” It creates this uncomfortable pressure for the other person to undress too, even if they weren’t ready for that kind of intimacy.
And then afterward, if they feel exposed, embarrassed, or ashamed, they might not want anyone else knowing that moment happened. Not because the intimacy meant nothing, but because they weren’t ready to be that vulnerable in the first place.
I’m not excusing Jax, but it does make it more understandable why he avoided Ribbit afterward, or why he thought she was prying to hold something over his head, just like his mother did. Just like his father did.
Not saying it’s all Ribbit’s fault, but if she wanted to share something personal with him, it shouldn’t have been used to get something personal from him in return.
When Jax asked, “What more do you need to know?” Ribbit should have left it there, or said something like, “Nothing. I trust you. That’s all you need to know.”
“Do you trust me?” creates an uncomfortable unspoken obligation for him to share something back. No wonder he freaked out afterward.
@FemboyCultist I agree and disagree. I've been on both sides of that talk. Their are some relationships I mourn or wonder about cause I felt like I should have tried harder.
And that some of my most valuable relationships come from people who refused to let me just drift away. Its a mix bag.
@VerloreSiDaccus Ultimately, yeah. Jax felt like they fcked up beyond repair and did the classic offense as defense.
And Ribbit likely felt utterly alone since she was being shunned by Jax. And talking to Kaufmo or Ragatha might be disregarded or a betrayal to Jax.
@somnodogpet I can see that.
But the issues are ultimately Jaxs. I could easily imagine them doing the same thing with Ragatha or Kaufmo If either of them got closer first.
Like we see later with Pomni.
@NaoeKusaNagi@peninachan The main issue is the lack of communication. Its sad and uncomfortable cause its relatable.
People can mean the best and it still not be enough. And some people feel like some relationships are unsalvagavble because of their own mistakes.
Anybody can be on either side.
@ttwrwqrrr I feel like the luckiest person in the world. And way smarter than I used to be. And just want people with my same anxieties and issues to see stories where they can see their flaws and know that they are still worth care.
@pagliacci_dse That always feels like the cruelest part. That because its family. You hope that they can see that trans folk aren't these caricatures they've built in their mind. And that their love for you might be enough. But then it aint. And you learn that, that relationship is conditional.
Might delete later.
But I related to Jax in that one scene.
Had a very similar experience when I first came out to my mom about my transness. And her reaction: "WhY aRE yOu TAkinG mY dAUgHtEr AwAy!?"
After years of hearing her be cool with queer folk. But just not her family.
@funniesthat Its the 'but im the exception' idea they get in their head. That because their family. Basic decent expectations dont apply to them.
Like I get it's gonna take a minute. Offering grace and junk. But you can tell when they're doing it on purpose after a while.
no odien a ribbit, como persona evitativa que se guarda todo, es bueno que te presionen un poco para poder hablar, sino nunca vas a poder hacerlo con nadie y eso te va matando lentamente hasta que estás en un pozo muy difícil de salir. hablar nunca es malo, hablar salva vidas
@peninachan That fine for a therapist. But friends dont really chat like that. A lot gets misunderstood because you wanna seem cool and caring. But still, you can still miss the full context. She had no clue that Jax would react like that after. And regardless, Jax refused to engage after.