Matt

Upright and sniffing the air 🦉

[Matt @route1drive]

The tourists in RI this year are literally on another level. You would think they were from Mars, not New Jersey

[Matt @route1drive]

Okay not to be vulgar but the new Entemann’s orange cream glazed pop’ems just blew my balls off

[Matt @route1drive]

@atlmintgeekbar The old accidental text on purpose trick

[Matt @route1drive]

@JennSedel I’m team Ron lmao

[Matt @route1drive]

I saw a guy leaving a restaurant that looked exactly like Don Vito from Viva La Bam to the point where I slammed on my breaks to do a double take lmao

[Matt @route1drive]

I would sell my body on the streets for an underbaked Otis Spunkmeyer cookie

[Matt @route1drive]

In the middle of a work meeting, I randomly remembered I hadn’t checked my mail in like 2 weeks and apparently I looked so distraught and panicked my boss emailed me after asking if everything was okay 🙈

[Matt @route1drive]

Not sure why my TL is suddenly all diet/ED related but it’s making me feel sad (and very fat lol)

[trash jones @jzux]

i’m actually stealing AI’s job (wasting resources and making up stupid shit)

[OVOSilk 🧊 @OVOSilk]

I never wanted kids before seeing this video…

[Matt @route1drive]

One of those Mondays at work where I’m already on Indeed by 9am lol

[Matt @route1drive]

@Favwontmiss I’m fucked

[Matt @route1drive]

Why have I been hearing about Groupon again so much lately?? I thought that died during Covid

[Matt @route1drive]

Accidentally emailed “open and clothes” instead of “open and close” in a work email and now my coworker keeps walking up behind me and just whispering “clothes” lmao

[Matt @route1drive]

@_AnonHater_ Why is he looking kinda fine too

[Matt @route1drive]

I know everyone complains about the two step screenshot process now, but can I tell you how many times it has saved my ass from sending something to the wrong person lol

[Matt @route1drive]

It feels like every day I learn something about Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann that I wish I didn’t know

[Matt @route1drive]

Why would the bagel function on my toaster just randomly stop working??