🌽🤡💶

I like cute shit and getting excited about things.

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

I’m being kinda mean, but she messed with my family. Fuck that bitch, I hope her kids are ugly.

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

My brother’s awful ex had twins with a guy that looks like a potato. Of course they gave the babies stupid, rhyming names.

So glad my nephew is a golden-doodle.

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

Potato baby update:
Every picture of the father is worse, he’s a weird lumpy potato they couldn’t sell in a grocery store.

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

(My bonus-nephews are human children and cute af)

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

The new Cyber Truck looks like it was designed in Inventor by someone that isn’t very good at solid modeling.

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

@katiejoyofosho There was a laundry soap commercial about not having dingy underwear at the ER

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

I keep messing up on Duolingo by mixing up the English words and reading them backwards.
Most recent was “your” vs “very”

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

🎶 You got a fast car,
I got a plan to run in front of it 🎶

[YIMBYLAND @YIMBYLAND]

Show some damn respect for our boys in green 🫡

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

My neighbor is teaching her brother how to ride a bike and he looks so excited. 🥰

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

Forwarding esoteric emails to 1800 people doesn’t make anyone want to use Yammer.
It just confuses the Australians.

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

@MicrosoftViva please please please stop forwarding random emails to my entire company.

Your marketing strategy is even worse than the product.

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

In order to drive engagement(?), @MicrosoftViva forwarded a random email to my entire fucking company.

People are messaging me from other countries asking what’s going on.

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

Computers were a mistake

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

An email I sent on Monday has somehow been automatically forwarded to my entire company.

My whole day is going to be responding to people that I fucked up but am not a phishing scam.

[femdad @femdad69420]

in the future, the "gender" section on ID cards will be marked with a small illustration for 1 of 3 options:
- cartoon dog (female)
- cartoon dog with eyelashes and a pink bow (male)
- Douglas (nonbinary)

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

The street sweeper picked up the leaves instead of blowing them back up on the sidewalk!!

This is the exciting city life I dreamed of as a child.

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

@MothraMissWorld Potato chips get sorted by size, all the really big ones go into party-sized bags.

[🌽🤡💶 @rovetastic]

@MothraMissWorld