Roy the Cat

Fighting to put cats in their place; atop the social pyramid. One tweet at a time.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

Today I ate some carpet then vomited that carpet onto the floor. I was proud of myself until a human came and cleaned it up.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

Here's the ferret I caught. Stupid humans put him in my case and sent him back to his owners. Dont know why I bother.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

#ComfortZone

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

Most cats bring home mice and birds. The other day I brought in a ferret. Were the humans pleased? Not likely, the ingrates.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

Election. What a joke. Politics is the opiate of the hairless, stinking and slovenly proles that insist on thinking they matter.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

@ThorSelfies except squirrels. I hate those guys. And the magpie that taunts me in my own garden.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

Vote Liberal Democat. It's the only real choice. As your Prime Minispurr I promise to make vets free at point of use and to deport all dogs.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

Just chillin' on my sofa, watching my TV. #youwotm8

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

When my humans are out I like to lick all of the cutlery in the draw.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

@AlfordCat I know that feelin'.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

@MinkyBrim Excellent work friend. All of those things belong there on the floor.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

@yourveryhelpful It's the only way I can make the sofa look like a place humans shouldn't sit.

[Buster Smith @yourveryhelpful]

@royisacat comfy?

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

@jessmazo Hey, cats in dresses is no bad thing in my opinion.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

#HowToGetOutOfAReallyBadDate Arch your back, raise your hackles and spit in her face. Works like a charm.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

@urmindblown @DamnRealPosts I'd do it. I have a non-fatal terminal velocity. Jealous much? #catsftw

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

My humans have returned home. As is customary, I have shown them my butthole and thoroughly investigated all they have brought home

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

@MrsPrisses I feel for ya sister. My humans haven't opened the door yet.

[Roy the Cat @royisacat]

#IOnceHadABossWho I nibbled on after he passed away