Robert Padnick

Writer (The Office, Man Seeking Woman, Miracle Workers). Soldier.

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

@johnbaileyowen ew these look bad! no way dude

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

Has anyone tried these not so sour sour patch kids? Would love to know your thoughts if so. I’m thinking it’s the perfect balance between sweet and sour??????

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

@johnbaileyowen Hey man this is Robert from the Disney company. I see that you’re releasing our confidential material so now I’m afraid I need to bust your ass. You’re under arrest the Disney police are on the way.

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

@biblebrospod @nytimes @dankyklein shots fired and I’m loving every second of it!

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

@biblebrospod @WB_Animation It’s almost been a whole day. Do you think WB is ok??

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

@biblebrospod This is like the end of the matrix when neo flies away

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

@biblebrospod Yes we have no shame. Please mention us! PLEASE!

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

@sutu_eats_flies So hyped. Cmon whitelist 🙏🙏

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

@dankyklein Wrong! My man dan EARNED that exhausted clout! I know him personally and he is truly a tired guy. Get some rest, sleepyhead, you deserve it!!!

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

@biblebrospod You were so close!

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

@biblebrospod Am I… wearing pants?

[Adam Conover @adamconover]

This podcast was SO much fun. We read the Bible for the first time, and let me tell you: Some absolutely wild stuff happens in this book. Dan and @rpadnick are incredibly funny. Take a listen!

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

What better way to get through these trying times than reading the entire Bible, front to back, with me and @danklein_is_fat on our new podcast BIBLE BROTHERS? What’s that you say? There’s lots of better ways? Okay,… https://t.co/t3Jeo1TDMm

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

Just noticed this powerful blurb on the book jacket of The Chosen. The Chicago Tribune summed up my feelings EXACTLY.

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

I've always said, there's nothing fartsier than art.

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

Just to be clear, I'm CHOOSING to watch a second movie alone.

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

I just woke up. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

When you ask for travel/book/food recs on Facebook, make sure you end with "Go!" People will appreciate that extra reason to hate you.

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

Hemingway once wrote, "All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know." Well here it goes: You suck.

[Robert Padnick @rpadnick]

Don't make me list what I want in my omelette. You tell me what's in it, and I'll tell you where you went wrong.