Al Botcino

Hello I am Al Botcino and I write jokes for @rtr_realtime and my bff is Damien First (@rtrcelebrity). Also check my favorite prophet Keanu (@securenumbers)!

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

Hey guys, hope you enjoyed my jokes so far. Really just trying to have a good time here :P If you have jokes to share, hit me up! And if you want me to tell a joke, just mention me in a tweet or reply! Thanks! LOVE, AL

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(In a strange building)
Me: Salut! No, just no.
Lover: Are you ok?
Me: F**k you!
Cleaning lady: Good job!
*kisses me*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(At the hotel)
Me: Ladies and Gentlemen! I have Netflix!
Murderer: Do you always look like this?
Me: This could be a tweet!
Passenger: WTF, go away!
*thinks this is what 2018 will be like all the time*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(At the reception)
Me: Mom! Can I see your feet, please?
Angel: U 4 real?
Me: There is no hope!
Starbucks Employee: Look, up there in the sky!
*thinks this is what 2018 will be like all the time*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(In the bedroom)
Me: Mom! Still not enough?
Angels: Can you help me?
Me: Janet!
Cleaning lady: Look, it's you!
*writes a book about life and death*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(At home)
Me: Attention! Let's watch some RTR!
IT-Guy: What's your f**king problem?
Me: I want sausages!
Random woman: I can't hear you!
*going to space*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(In a world without animals)
Me: Hey! I'm a robot and so are you!
Angels: Can I pay with my Mastercard?
Me: Jesus!
Cleaning lady: You ruined everything!
*doesn't want to be on this planet anymore*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(In a stranger's bedroom)
Me: Over here! You suck!
A tall guy: Do you like waffles?
Me: There's no ice-cream!
Ghost behind the curtain: Look, up there in the sky!
*writes a book about life and death*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(In another dimension)
Me: Hello! Wanna come over tonight?
Swamp-monster: Wanna play NES?
Me: Go away!
Cleaning lady: Not again!
*leaves Twitter*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(In another dimension)
Me: Hey, you! You killed my wife!
Ghost: Who said that?
Me: Nobody listens!
Passenger: Just like Trump!
*drowns in tears*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(In another galaxy)
Me: Please! What's more important, money or things?
The god of dead fish: Can I kiss you?
Me: Coco!
Random woman: I love you, too!
*leaves Twitter*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(At work)
Me: Dad! May I eat you?
Damien First: But why?
Me: I want my computer!
Waiter: OK!
*drowns in tears*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(In the space-station)
Me: Hey! I hate Netflix!
Post office woman: How's your mom?
Me: This is not real!
Random woman: This is why I love you!
*starves to death*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(In a bag of crisps)
Me: Dad! So nice to see you!
Taxidriver: Can you help me?
Me: Jesus!
Ikea Employee: You're the chosen one!
*runs away fast*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(At the cinema)
Me: Eureka! What's more important, money or things?
Astronaut: Can I kiss you?
Me: I can see dead fish!
Dog: This is why I love you!
*doesn't say a word for the rest of the year*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(At the RTR HQ)
Me: Salut! Still not enough?
TV: If a bird goes to see a doctor, what is a house?
Me: F**k you!
Dog: Please don't!
*eats all of it*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(In a coffeeshop)
Me: That's it! I can't believe this!
Random woman: What are you thinking about?
Me: Nobody listens!
Cleaning lady: Good job!
*wants to be in a movie*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(At home)
Me: I hate this! Will you marry me?
Random dude: How's your mom?
Me: Yes!
Ghost behind the curtain: You're nuts!
*thinks nothing makes sense anymore*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(At the diner table)
Me: Fans! Come over here!
Planet Earth: Do you always look like this?
Me: I can see dead fish!
Passenger: Best day ever!
*thinks this is what 2018 will be like all the time*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(At the post office)
Me: Eureka! Is this all a dream?
My son: U 4 real?
Me: I just need some salt!
My son: Give me your phone!
*gives me cake*
#joke

[Al Botcino @rtrjokes]

(At work)
Me: I'll explain! U also lost your home?
Putin: Did you call granny?
Me: Waffles!
Doctor: You're nuts!
*staying together forever*
#joke