Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS

[Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS @rtrywingfancier]

@games_Yoshild @megumin_ccc If it's shell is bright red its been boiled. You'd still want to remove the shell before eating it though.

[GORM THE OLD @GORMTHEOLD25]

Skyrim: USA (A.I. Video)

[Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS @rtrywingfancier]

@BudLightSadness Conan the barbarian.

[Storyteller Lemmy @LemmySmackett]

"Bro, check it out! The FBI lowered their hiring standards—"

"Well, that doesn't sound good—"

"And I couldn't be more thrilled!"

"Er."

"It's always been my dream to work for the FBI — like my personal hero, Special Agent Dale Cooper."

"Funny. I always took you for more of a Burt Macklin."

"Har har."

"Let me guess: all you need to get hired now is a warm body, your G.E.D., and a 620 on the SAT."

"Hey, I got a 630."

"My b, Burt."

"And no dude, look: CBS reports that stealing from your employer—"

"Who hasn't?'

"—hiring a prostitute—"

"Saucy."

"—and acts of beastiality—"

"Say what."

"—are no longer an automatic barrier to getting hired at the Federal Bureau of Investigation."

"Uuh."

"God willing, by this time next year, I'll be clad in a somber, dark suit and long, tan trenchcoat, hobnobbing with a cast of strange and delightfully eclectic locals in a sleepy Pacific Northwest town near the Canadian border while investigating the grisly murder of a beloved homecoming queen whose plastic-wrapped, ashen-blue body washed up on the riverbank by the old lumber mill."

"Right, hey, can we pull back from daydreaming about the cyanotic corpses of beautiful teenage blondes for a minute?"

"Hm?"

"Because I have questions."

"About the specifics on the new standards, yeah? I was curious too."

"No, sorry, which—"

"So on the prostitution—"

"Okay."

"You get a pass if you've only hired a whore 3 times and the last hire was 10 years back."

"The same whore 3 times or any whore?"

"Any whore."

"Stingy. So if I pulled an Abe Lincoln and I was 4 whore and 7 years ago—"

"You'd be out the door on your Gettysburg butt."

"Emancipation for Fornication."

"Now if you worked for a whore and you stole from her 7 times 4 years ago—"

"Hm?"

"That would be fine because it means the last incident of theft from an employer was more than 3 years ago."

"Finally, a statute of limitations on jezebel embezzlement."

"And on the beastiality, it's okay as long as you were underage."

"A sentence that gets worse with every new word."

"Mhm."

"So which of these uh offenses was barring you from applying?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because I'm trying to figure out if I should start calling you Special Agent Dale Dogfucker."

"Okay, first off, that's not only rude but callous. The new standard is meant to accommodate candidates who went through barbaric and unspeakable experiences beyond their control as youths."

"Damn, alright, now I feel bad about it."

"Secondly, it was a very handsome squirrel."
---
[m][title: New FBI Hiring Standards]

[Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS @rtrywingfancier]

@Synergistic @matpolloy Watch closely when the lasers fire the second time, they use that flash to hide the cut from the scene being shot on a painted background to being shot on a detailed miniature set. When you watch closely you can see very minor details change.

[Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS @rtrywingfancier]

@burn_account21 @bigsnugga Did you see the game they're releasing?

New! Official Warrior Cats RPG on PC and consoles | Warrior Cats https://t.co/KmuCkdUOqz

[Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS @rtrywingfancier]

@tuuu28283 Started with .22 caliber rifles in boyscouts, to earn a merit badge, I was 14. Once I turned 18 I bought a hunting/target shooting rifle and at 21 I purchased a 9mm pistol for self defense since I moved to a rough neighborhood. Thankfully never had to use it for that.

[Iamemperor @Iamemperor00]

Judge: “You are charged with breaking into City Hall at 2:13 a.m. How do you plead?”

Defendant: “Confused.”

Judge: “That’s not one of the options.”

Defendant: “Then not guilty.”

Judge: “Very well. Prosecutor?”

Prosecutor: “Your Honor, security footage clearly shows the defendant entering the building after hours.”

Defendant: “That’s true.”

Lawyer: “Please stop helping them.”

Judge: “You admit you entered the building?”

Defendant: “Yes.”

Lawyer: “Please stop.”

Judge: “Then why are you pleading not guilty?”

Defendant: “Because I was invited.”

Prosecutor: “By whom?”

Defendant: “The mayor.”

Judge: “The mayor invited you to City Hall at 2:13 in the morning?”

Defendant: “Indirectly.”

Lawyer: “We’re using that word very loosely.”

Judge: “Explain.”

Defendant: “The mayor posted online that citizens should participate more in local government.”

Prosecutor: “That is not an invitation.”

Defendant: “I participated.”

Judge: “At 2:13 a.m.?”

Defendant: “Civic engagement doesn’t sleep.”

Lawyer: “Please stop talking.”

Judge: “What exactly did you do after entering the building?”

Defendant: “I fixed the clock.”

Judge: “The clock?”

Prosecutor: “The large clock above the entrance.”

Judge: “The one that’s been broken for six months?”

Prosecutor: “Yes.”

Judge: “You repaired it?”

Defendant: “Someone had to.”

Lawyer: “Again, not helping.”

Judge: “Why not notify the city?”

Defendant: “I did.”

Judge: “And?”

Defendant: “Eight emails.”

Prosecutor: “We found those.”

Judge: “You ignored eight emails?”

Mayor: “In my defense, I ignore most emails.”

Judge: “Why is the mayor here?”

Mayor: “Curiosity.”

Defendant: “Also because he owes me twenty dollars.”

Judge: “What?”

Mayor: “The clock repair kit.”

Defendant: “I kept the receipt.”

Judge: “Let me understand this. You broke into City Hall to repair city property after the city ignored your complaints?”

Defendant: “Correct.”

Judge: “And the repair worked?”

Mayor: “Perfectly.”

Judge: “…”

Defendant: “Can I get my twenty dollars now?”

Mayor: “Can I pay after lunch?”

Judge: “All of you, out of my courtroom.”

[Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS @rtrywingfancier]

@cuteonlyvibes Pussy

[🇯🇵SAIGOU🇯🇵郷田剛士🇯🇵 @oidonhagouda]

Bro, let’s stop pretending.

Muslims make up about 25% of the entire world’s population — over 2 billion people across 50+ countries.

Japanese people? About 1.4% of the world. One single country.

Shinto exists only in Japan.

So when people say “Japan should prioritize minorities and be more accommodating to Islam,” who exactly are we talking about?

The global majority is coming to one of the world’s smallest ethnic and religious groups and demanding that Japan change its culture, food, and traditions for them.

That’s not “protecting minorities.” That’s the majority trying to colonize a tiny minority.

Japan has every right to protect its own people and culture first.

If Muslims want to live under Islamic rules, they already have dozens of countries where they can do that. They don’t need to come to Japan and turn it into another one.

[NyanChuu🔮🇯🇵🍭 @tanpukunokami]

At a daycare in Tokyo, a Muslim mother said:

“It’s so much easier now. I don’t even have to pack lunch anymore.”

Why?

Because the daycare changed its meals.

No pork.
No soy sauce.
Chicken only if it is halal-certified.

Not in Saudi Arabia.
Not in Pakistan.
Not in Indonesia.

In Japan.

Of course, children should not be mocked or punished for their religion.
That is not the point.

The point is this:

Japanese children are now eating under someone else’s religious rules
inside their own country.

And somehow, we are told to call this “diversity.”

No.

Diversity should never mean one side gives up everything
while the other side is endlessly accommodated.

So tell me again.

Who is integrating into whose country?

Because from here, it looks like Japan is being asked to bow in its own home.

And I’m tired of being told to smile while it happens.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

Yes, I know what Daylight Saving Time is. That is not the problem.

The problem is they took the hour while everyone was asleep.

So I stayed awake. Someone has to keep watch when a piece of time is being removed from the country.

At 1 59 I was ready. Seated. Facing the clock. I had questions prepared, in case the hour tried to explain itself.

It did not explain itself. It simply became 3 00. No 2 30. No 2 45. The hour did not die slowly. It was gone between two blinks. I have killed faster things, but never so quietly.

I checked the other clocks. The one in the kitchen had skipped it too. They were in on it together. Every clock in my house had agreed to the same lie, and not one of them warned me first.

I no longer trust the microwave.

In the morning I asked the barista how she felt about losing an hour. She said "honestly I'm just tired." I told her that is exactly what they want. She gave me my coffee for free, which I took as an attempt to buy my silence.

It worked. I am very poor and the coffee was large.

So tell me, plainly. Six months from now you say the hour comes back. The same hour? A fresh one? A replacement they keep in a building somewhere?

Because I wrote that first hour's name down before it died.

And if a different hour shows up in November wearing its face, I will know.

[Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS @rtrywingfancier]

@B7QyaVeO5BCVf4n @investorMM Not "high value" so much as "low risk" they were probably non-violent offenders with no disciplinary infractions. In all likelihood the charges they would get for escaping custody would be longer than the time left to serve on their original sentance.

[Northeast Urbanist @skytopjf]

This is the Chipotle where Thomas Paine wrote common sense

[Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS @rtrywingfancier]

@MetamateDaz If communist countries are such utopias, why do they need bread lines, gulags, secret police, and repressive laws against free speech?

[Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS @rtrywingfancier]

@hoshizorarock My father loved unagi-don, he'd judge a japanese resturant by it, if the unagi-don wasn'tgood we probablywouldn'tbe eating there again.

Personally I love katsu curry, but so few places in America serve it, and the ones who do rarely get it right.

[Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS @rtrywingfancier]

@Mitch17472831 @tuuu28283 That's actually not live, just fresh. The sodium in the soy sauce is causing the muscles to contract through a chemical reaction. Same thing happens when you season detached frogs legs with salt

Katsu ika odori-don - Wikipedia https://t.co/X6fiUz7rT1

[Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS @rtrywingfancier]

@planefag Have they come to kill him?

[Conquest Is Tired Of Your BS @rtrywingfancier]

@travis4nh Let's not forget that the first astronaut to be investigated for a crime in space was female.