Ruben Espinoza

Salad Bowl rep; boxing, rasslin, & lucha libre.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@RatCatcherMpls This even beats Macho Man divorcing Elizabeth in real life so they could get remarried at SummerSlam.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@AlBernstein Condolences Al.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@RatCatcherMpls “Let he who has never fantasized about banging their teen daughter cast the first stone at him.” - some maga preacher.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@RatCatcherMpls Imagine being born to millionaire parents but you have to pretend that your mom gave birth to you on a field next to a septic tank so fans of your shitty music find you more relatable.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@RatCatcherMpls Paq should have been the new pope. Church would've made a killing with all homophobic boxing fans ordering Sunday mass on ppv. And as a bonus, Paq is an expert at not paying taxes.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@RatCatcherMpls I had a few coworkers at my place the other day. Boxing was on the TV but I changed it real quick to Mexican midget wrestling so they wouldn't think I'm a loser.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@RatCatcherMpls Gotta admit, they came up with a plan and executed it to perfection. Real pros when it comes to execution.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@Gabriel_Montoya @RamsNFL Condolences 🙏

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@RatCatcherMpls The Saudis need to do a tournament of boxers who have threatened Dick Hercules on Twitter.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@RatCatcherMpls Wait, are you announcing your candidacy for president? Can I be your campaign manager? I’ll go on TV to tell people that Dick doesn’t need his ego stroked like out of touch politicians. He will penetrate inflation and go hard on crime.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@R_AndradeFranco This Mexican holiday season will be forever known as “el año de los putazos.” In 2084, ten year old kids of today will tell their grandchildren about tio Cowboy, tio Niner, and tio Raider getting into at every party.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@R_AndradeFranco My dad and I have the same name. Every now and then he’ll call to tell me I received a bill/invoice when it’s actually his. And I haven’t even lived in the house in 10+ years.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@R_AndradeFranco As a kid I used to think I had two cousins in Mexico named Max y Miliano. Then I realized it was just one guy named Maximiliano.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@R_AndradeFranco They’re the relatives you tell other people “Yeah that’s my cousin. Not sure how but my mom says we’re related.”

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@R_AndradeFranco My masculinity’s been fragile since I saw this specimen:

https://t.co/AzHOA3FORC

[海賊狩りのロソ @KidTend0u]

What I want to say is very unladylike

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@R_AndradeFranco Unless the drunk tio sees the devil’s shadow while taking a piss outside. Then it’s 6 more weeks of Mexican summer.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@R_AndradeFranco I see a lot more Mexicans drinking Michelob Ultra these days, but they don’t really follow the rest of the lifestyle from the commercials.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@R_AndradeFranco Opening scene has to be Jonny Chingas’ Corrido del Bato Loco playing in the background as the guy rides into Juarez.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@R_AndradeFranco Then he goes on Facebook to post cryptic messages about family not really being family and how you shouldn’t trust anyone but yourself.

[Ruben Espinoza @rube1452]

@R_AndradeFranco I saw a bunch of gorditos at swimming pool without their t-shirts.