Rudy Muradian

Nothing here yet, just setting up for when things open back up and can perform

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

I hate 7 layer dip, because it has 6 more layers than my personality.

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

I have the sex appeal of a jury duty summons.

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

What ever happened to the bear claw? They used to be everywhere. Any diner or restaurant you went into, always mentioned in shows and movies. Then one day, nothing. Like Polar bears in a few years.

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

Watching the field events at the Olympics made me realize I have a body of an Olympian, so if you think I'm fat, I'm sorry you don't have a peak physical body like me.

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

You can wear tennis shoes anywhere, but golf shoes are only good for golf and rough sex.

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

You'll know when I'm about to pop, because I always yell "Sho'nuff!" when I cum

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

If I come over for dinner and you offer me dessert and you give me fruit for dessert, I might straight up murder you.

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

One thing I learned is when talking to a girl and if she says she works at a dog rehabilitator, don't follow it up with "Are there crackhead dogs out there? Are doggies sucking dick for drugs?"

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

How strip clubs make bank during NBA All-Star week is how I imagine meth dealers be during Wrestlemania week, especially this year that it's in Tampa.

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

If the new Mighty Ducks show doesn't give Coach Bombay the old Tim Horton ending, than it was all for naught

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

Papa John’s ex-CEO says he’s been working for the last 20 months to get rid of this N-word from his vocabulary. But than he sees Shaq in a Papa John's commercial and he has to start all over again

[The Bonfire @TheBonfireSXM]

#CAMPERS!!!! Monday, March 1st 2021 #TheBonfire w/ @bigjayoakerson & @dansoder will be back LIVE Monday though Thursday 5pm-7pm ET on @SIRIUSXM @FactionTalk103 #CrackleCrackle #FactionTalk #SiriusXM

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

Michael Jordan owns a golf course in Florida, and I heard since Jordan owns it, the rules are you have to gamble, and if you lose and can't pay, MJ personally kills your dad.

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

The thing shocking to me about the Bam Margera thing is that they're doing another Jackass movie. Great, middle age dudes trying to keep doing what they did in their 20s. "Hey, I'm Steve-O, and this is, try to not fall in the shower and break a hip"

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

Pet Sematary is bullshit, there is noway that an infant can flip an 18 wheeler and just come back normal

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

When I scroll through the comedy section on Netflix, it just makes me want to take a bat to my tv

[Rebecca A. Trent @rebelcave]

The rumors are true....

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

Say what you will about The Weeknd's halftime show, but that was the youngest CBS as ever skewed

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

I took the Tony Hawk Masterclass, I still can't do an ollie. Fuck you Tony Hawk.

[Rudy Muradian @RudyComedy]

Jeff Bezos is stepping down as Amazon's CEO, so he can fight Superman full time with land deals