David Meyer

[The Onion @TheOnion]

On March 2nd, 1978, for a brief moment, Fort Worth, TX resident Betsy Granger forgot the Alamo. https://t.co/sgoJJKxHj0

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Nervous New Driver Going To Stick To Sidewalks Until He’s More Confident https://t.co/siskLiT7zM

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Toddler Shits Her Way Through 3rd Halloween Costume Of Night https://t.co/PbfC3GwHbu

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Desperate CDC Now Just Claiming Wearing A Mask Will Make You Rich And Famous Beyond Wildest Dreams https://t.co/oMqMMPctJt

[The Onion @TheOnion]

FBI Charges 6 In Violent Plot To Kidnap Michigan Governor https://t.co/zznz0y6KOT #WhatDoYouThink?

[Onion Gamers Network @OnionGamers]

Good News ‘Final Fantasy’ Fans: Looks Like They Made A Bunch Of Those Things https://t.co/MRGXGb4lnS

[The Onion @TheOnion]

All 50 States Unveil Plans To Ease Coronavirus Restrictions By Memorial Day https://t.co/8qAO7aQJqh #WhatDoYouThink?

[Cody Worsham @CodyWorsham]

Just realized looking at this graphic from @LindseyThomps_ that LSU had one player from basically every position drafted:

QB
RB
WR
TE
OG
C
OT
DL
Edge
LB
CB
S
LS

[Cody Worsham @CodyWorsham]

Remember that time LSU beat 7 top 10 teams, went 15-0, won the SEC, the Heisman, the Biletnikoff, the Thorpe, the Joe Moore, National Coach of the Year, the Peach Bowl, the National Championship, had 5 first round picks, and a record 14 NFL draft selections?

That was fun.

[National Geographic @NatGeo]

Human eyes see only a hovering spot of color, high-speed cameras capture the breathtaking maneuvers of a hummingbird in flight

[The Cute Plug @TheCutePlug]

Mum was fed up of the squirrels stealing all the bird food so she greased the feeder!

[Mike Greenberg @Espngreeny]

I rest my case. #LSU @getupespn

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Jeff Bezos Donates $690,000 Directly Into Australian Fire https://t.co/gYswsmsoXJ

[The Onion @TheOnion]

L.A. Adds Lanes For Cyclists To Recover From Getting Hit By Cars https://t.co/h1UnUgY7s4

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Bed Bug Feels Bad For Area Man, But A Bug's Got To Eat https://t.co/6jM2TW7VF2

[The Onion @TheOnion]

For more world-renowned reportage, visit https://t.co/csf5QUbhed.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Annual Teeth Cleaning Reveals Three Previously Unnoticed Rows Of Teeth https://t.co/59EkvJY7zd

[OK Go @okgo]

.@MercedesBenz: Create a piece of art that will change the world!

Nobody:

Damian: The Stress Inversion Transformer.

#mercedesbenz #switchtoeq

https://t.co/j38id7a2ST

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Jimmy Carter Forced To Remove Dozens Of Genital Piercings Before Entering MRI Machine https://t.co/zxspQIzcdP

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Tupperware Will Never Truly Recover From Red Curry Leftovers https://t.co/SNDmBT7QC5