MurderFloat

the Office. Slytherin. Puns. Mental Health Survivor. Mouth Like a Sailor. True Crime Gang.

[MurderFloat @rumred3]

I don’t know why my brain does this. Lobotomize me, already.

[MurderFloat @rumred3]

@emilykmay I’m mostly self loathing but I meet this criteria and would love some actual interaction.

[MurderFloat @rumred3]

Instead of drinking today I made this.

(It’s infused apple cobbler w/strawberry cheesecake on top.)
I’m proud of me today.

[MurderFloat @rumred3]

I kinda wanna Sunday Funday this bitch.

[killjoy 🐇 @pvnkpilled]

“everyone gets a plate before you can have seconds” but for housing

[MurderFloat @rumred3]

A brand new box of beautiful cones for some prerolls. It’s a good Friday, team.

[MurderFloat @rumred3]

My heart is hurting today.

[MurderFloat @rumred3]

@CrownAndJoke I say “what the French toast” instead of “what the fuck” multiple times a day. Lol

[MurderFloat @rumred3]

@TraceEvPod Yea, with nothing new/fresh coming out consistently.

[Rent Free With Kory Amyx @RentFreeTalk]

How to pronounce acetaminophen:

ree-LEESE thuh EPP-steen FYLES

[MurderFloat @rumred3]

Just found a new route for my morning that avoids all school zones and speed humps. I also got to work 26 mins early. It’s a good day.

[Brad @BraddrofliT]

Autism was first identified in 1911. Tylenol was introduced in 1950. Don't listen to the guy with the brainworm.

Release the Epstein Files.

[Not Your Average Liberal @NotAvgLiberal]

For Clarification -

The President of the United States is a 34 time Convicted Felon who’s in the Epstein Files.

The First Lady is a former Prostitute/mail order bride/Mistress who fucked Epstein.

The Vice President is a Crack Baby who’s changed his name 3 times,
And wears more make up and eye liner than RuPaul.

The Secretary of Defense is an Adulterer, Rapist and a raging alcoholic.

The Secretary of Homeland Security is an Adulterer and puppy killer.

The Secretary of Health is a Heroin addict whose brain was eaten by a fucking parasite.

And….

The Secretary of Education couldn’t pass a fucking 3rd grade spelling and grammar test.

The worst part…

There’s a lot more shit that I missed.

Are we Great Again?

[bonita lo thee oracle @TheDivineBruxa]

no ifs no buts no maybes

[♓︎ @PISCESPRADA]

stop stressing, you silly little bitch. you have a good heart, a nice ass, and a kind soul. the universe is on your side. you’re going to be just fine.

[MurderFloat @rumred3]

Headaches that make you throw up.

[MurderFloat @rumred3]

I’m feeling very _____.

That’s all.

[☥ Yuge Bigly🌹 @space_treasure8]

alchemy baby

[can't spell martyr without @realmartypeercy]

they arrested a guy who threw a sandwich at the miltarized cops in dc. cops in america are the softest, scaredest, diaper-babiest human beings in the world.