Cuppy

World Record Holder for Fastest Set of Kegels.

[Cuppy @runawaycupcake]

@WhiteHouse Quiet Piggy.

[Cuppy @runawaycupcake]

@kaitrump @POTUS The sooner you change your last name and detach yourself from your horrible family legacy, the better off you'll be.

[Cuppy @runawaycupcake]

@realDonaldTrump You are delusional.

[Cuppy @runawaycupcake]

@realDonaldTrump Your family is trashing this nation. We are under siege due to your horrible presidency.

[Cuppy @runawaycupcake]

@realDonaldTrump You are a loser and the citizens of this country are suffering because of your horrible decisions.

[Cuppy @runawaycupcake]

@realDonaldTrump The only people under seige are the millions you are withholding food benefits from, DJT. You should be ashamed of yourself.

[Lori @loribuckmajor]

My husband is picking out meat like he’s choosing a wife.

[Cuppy @runawaycupcake]

Me: in bed, surrounded by family and friends, taking final breaths before I die

Son: I CAN’T FIND THE REMOTE

[Cuppy @runawaycupcake]

Thinking of getting a half dozen rather than a dozen donuts for breakfast tomorrow because dieting.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Every time I like a deleted post, I feel like Charlie Brown when Lucy pulls the football away.

[Jeremy @JeromeyR0me]

Before the Republican talking heads chalk this up to “Chicago violence”:

Highland Park is 30 miles north of Chicago. It’s also one of the most affluent suburbs and has a non existent crime rate

This is not a Chicago problem, it’s an America problem. Happy 4th!

[Jorts (and Jean) @JortsTheCat]

It’s none of my business but some of my coworkers didn’t drink any water today. Maybe I should mix water into all their foods just to be safe

[Housewife of Hell @HousewifeOfHell]

My autobiography will be called "Barely Repressed Anger."
Oh? You don't want to buy it? Your choice. I'm fine. Really, it's okay.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

I was going to be a "seat filler" at the Oscars, but they wouldn't meet my lumbar support requirements, so I walked.

[Sooz @CruisinSoozan]

Thinking of starting a clothing line called “Complicated Grief.”
It’s just bathrobes.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Putin now trying to exchange rubles for Kohl's Cash.

[mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo]

I just spent an hour in the grocery store and 45 minutes of that was trying to open a produce bag

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Of course I work out. Right now I'm working out how I can fit more ice cream in the freezer.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Scientists didn't actually confirm that "a body at rest tends to stay at rest" until the La-Z-Boy recliner was invented.