Narcissists don’t just envy you — they become obsessed with you.
And that obsession is a problem for them, because it’s visible. People can sense when someone’s fixation on another person crosses a line. So the narcissist has to reframe it.
They can’t say “I resent this person because they have something I want.”
So instead they say: “This person is dangerous. You should be afraid of them.”
They take their own hatred — rooted entirely in envy — and repackage it as a warning. Suddenly their obsessive targeting looks like concern. Their aggression looks like self-defense. Their smear campaign looks like people just… finding out the truth.
What they’re really doing is recruiting. They need other people to fear their target because their own feelings of resentment and hatred need external validation. If they can make you afraid of the person they envy, then their obsession feels justified. Their attack feels righteous.
The target didn’t do anything. They just existed in a way the narcissist couldn’t tolerate.
Malignant narcissists have a way of making even the kindest, healthiest people start to believe they’re bad. They’ll spot your best qualities—your kindness, your integrity, your calm—and twist them into flaws. Kindness becomes “manipulative.” Integrity becomes “self-righteous.” Calmness becomes “cold” or “uncaring.”
They’ll keep poking and provoking you until you finally react, and the second you do, they hold it up as proof that you were never as good as you seemed. Then they repeat that message over and over, in different ways, until you start doubting yourself.
Along the way, they work to isolate you so you have fewer people to remind you who you really are. And with the constant stress and self-doubt, you eventually feel so worn down that their version of you starts to feel more real than your own. That’s the real cruelty—not just convincing others you’re bad, but convincing you.
We’re live now. Unredacted on the performance of victimhood + Solve a Crime with Me (new Dive Bar clues). Join the chat.
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As I stated on Misty’s live this morning, I just attended a holiday fair today for my boyfriend’s oldest daughter Hailey. She makes crocheted stuffed animals & other things which make a cute stocking stuffer, teacher’s gift, or last minute item for those on your holiday shopping list.
Her work and her contact info are below.
Check out her Etsy page:
https://t.co/R5gGtfru1M