C L Λ S H

the original c-bomb

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

Anyone want to go sharesies on Drake's Island? I have £8. https://t.co/yMHf7PLCBE

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

@TroyxBrandt This Brit (w)hole heartedly approves.

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

@hugeajax 😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤

Such a waste though. I’d be greedily lapping iand swallowing every delicious last drop.

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

Double glorious day as X thinks I’m of legal age again!

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

Glorious 12th, lads. Let’s at it.

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

@X Still no update on this @x. When I was born the Berlin Wall was still up, Chernobyl was freshly warming up everywhere east of it, and Donald Trump was only a shit business man sex offender

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

Twitter doesn’t think I’m 18 so am gonna go full twink again.

COME AT (on/in) ME, DADDYS.

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

No but seriously I’m very nearly 40 and I should readily be able to have a feed mixing news, comedy, cats, and hardcore porn. @x

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

Deliveroo driver was ‘start of an adult movie delivery driver’ hot and now I’m not eating but searching online for him but so far no luck.

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

@ManticoreSpa I lied, I can’t message you. What time does this happen? Cost? Do I need to bring anything? I’ll be alone and probably know nobody, is this ok? Am I allowed to wear short shorts? Anything else I need to know!? Help a clueless boy out?! Thanks and Love (and maybe see u later 😏)

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

@ManticoreSpa Hi! Complete spa (but not actual) virj here - I’ve popped you a dm, might you have a look and let me know the A’s to my q’s pls? 🫶🏼

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

@WillKingston I’ve read the comments on Plymouth Live’s Facebook page - where do the people who were born here, lived here all their lives but still can’t cobble a comprehensible sentence together go?

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

@JordanxBrandt 😍🤤

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

What’s it stopping?

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

Some new evidence about her potential death and a doc about the main suspect, a reminder that Maddy Mccan’s fruitless and pointless search has cost taxpayer £13.5 million

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

Erm, an ‘HRH’ and a capitalised ‘R’ please, or I’ll unleash more than a drop. State of this country 🙄

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

Strength of a Prince rupert's drop

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

Also had a vividly, almost lucid one about a local barman (with biceps as big as my thighs, intense stare, and the gait of a man with 3 legs) and I having lots and lots of very lovely sex, so don’t worry - I’m not over the hill just yet.

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

Just woke from a dream where @TheSimpsons had to do another episode about the Stonecutters because half the lyrics to their song are not something to sing about anymore. They’d updated the song accordingly. Only tweeting this so when it airs I can claim credit.

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

@JOHNNYRICHS Your tongue and beast would get on so well with my tight, smooth bussy. Wanna rearrange and flood my guts?

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

@qikipedia Twice as much of zero is still zero though.

[C L Λ S H @rupertclash]

Oh Kyle, you handsome, cutie patootie 🥹 You should’ve won.
#MillionDollarSecret

And speaking as a plummy Brit- with your accent/voice just record yourself reading audiobooks and sell them somewhere. You’d make a $1m in about 11 minutes. From me. 🫠🫣