Rusty Featherstone

Fat dogs like slow cars

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

It’s hard to hate from outside the club when you can’t even get in…

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

Oh great, Trump just said if he wins he’s going to make eye contact missionary a felony

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

Pull up to my place we’re all wearing backwards hats

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

Got kicked out of the bar for calling too many girls “your grace” and kissing all their rings

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

Telling the hotel valet to keep it running and then going to bed for the night

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

I wish Upside Down by Jack Johnson was 30 minutes long

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

This pee has been going so long I’m worried people thing it’s a quick poop

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

If I’m drinking and I can see my reflection you’re have 0% of my attention

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

Thinking about texting her a meme to break the ice

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

Pulled into her house with the drum solo from Phil Collins’ in the air tonight playing
(She knows I mean business)

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

Dibs on being the most scared and paranoid tonight

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

Left class 7 minutes ago. They’re probably all talking about how I’m definitely pooping rn.

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

Giving up small titty goth girls for lent… just kidding can you imagine?

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

You guys eat your chipotle left to right or right to left?

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

Things are heating up over here

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

Tonight’s going to be a fucking movie

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

I think those 3 bottles of wine went bad I don’t feel so well

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

The ball’s been in her court for a couple years now

[Rusty Featherstone @rustyfeathers]

New shirt!