Ruvan

Task Manager (Not Responding)(parody)

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

someone once tried to tell me trees have emotions then immediately cursed out the Starbucks barista because they were out of Splenda

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter?
#MyTwitterAnniversary

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

Know I am usually a man of my word

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

This was a draft from 2011

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

The day that I eat ass will be the day that Joe Biden becomes president

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

The day that I eat ass will be the day that Joe Biden becomes president

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

can dogs get high with us? they deserve to. we must have the technology right?

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

Elon Tesla: “Sorry man, we can’t give you a raise, but we can give you this Lisa Frank sticker book.”

Bitcoin Cuck: “Great I can put this on my Doge Coins”

-The End-

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

I’m prepared to sink all of my Bitcoin into someone who can develop a fried chicken sandwich that actually makes sense to put cheese on

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

Pretty concerned that a 16 year old is going to replace me at my job three years from now. Gotta bulk up so I can fight this asshole when the time comes; I refuse to be embarrassed by someone who was born during the Obama presidency.

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

Aren’t all unflavored sparkling waters, like, the same?

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

I’m such a simp for bougie quick meals what has happened to me.

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

I’m embarrassed to admit that I thought Joe Biden’s name was Jobe Idan

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

Idea: Tik Tok for baby boomers called Tim Tom.

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

The last thing I want to do is call customer support but I will if this bitch heads for the hills with my salad.

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

Am I allowed to wear jorts? Are those back in yet?

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

what if I built a salad empire and used to it crush Big Smoothie

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

Fuck I love root beer floats.

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

I don’t fucking know anymore

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

idea: dating app, but it’s Words with Friends and the loser has to send nudes

[Ruvan @ruvan__j]

Yo, we just let Vanilla Ice get away with that shit?