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petition to make napping an olympic sport

[ak @rva_ak]

@wenjwz My black pittie says he has her endorsement

[ak @rva_ak]

when the guy at the liquor store IDed me he said, “you don’t look almost 30” and I’m honestly not sure if I’m flattered that he thinks I look younger, or offended that he apparently thinks 30 is old

[ak @rva_ak]

@MarshaBlackburn is this a fucking joke

[ak @rva_ak]

@natebobphil My text was from a Lindsay too 🤔

[ak @rva_ak]

@natebobphil

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@tedcruz take that fuckin shirt off I don’t want you cheering for my team

[ak @rva_ak]

@sarrajon

[ak @rva_ak]

fine, ban men and/or guns until we can figure out what’s going on

[ak @rva_ak]

I’m so sick of this stupid fucking country

[ak @rva_ak]

@MissPotkin girl, throw the whole man out

[ak @rva_ak]

@ryanstruyk don’t threaten me with a good time

[ak @rva_ak]

@thehill @tedcruz ok @tedcruz I’d like to know why you thought Betsy DeVos was qualified to run the dept of Ed. Is it cause she LOOKS like a racist principal?

[ak @rva_ak]

@independentabe @HMBraverman @surlybassey you sound like someone who has definitely breastfed before 🙄

[ak @rva_ak]

people are really doing out of state, 12 person bachelorette parties while we still in a pandemic huh

[ak @rva_ak]

@chrislhayes Chris. Dude. Come on.

[ak @rva_ak]

@HithaPalepu you can tell they really care about the sanctity of life because they’re refusing to wear masks.

[ak @rva_ak]

watching the snow come down but mostly praying they don’t close preschool tomorrow

[ak @rva_ak]

@OMacMan @summerbrennan ✨sexism✨

[ak @rva_ak]

@heavenorlower @Jaaavis omg.

[ak @rva_ak]

@heavenorlower @Jaaavis that’s nice. you still don’t get to pick whose life you’re “pro” if you say you’re “pro-life”