Roland🍀

chivalrous, sexy, alluring, and above average height. current mother of the speedbump trio.

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

JO THE GIRLFSCOUT NO OH GOD SHWS FONNA DIE

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

FUCK IT’S SO GOOD

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

LYDIA

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

augh fuck it’s sad!

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

if you ride saddle seat and not western. yes i will fuck u. but no i will not fuck with you. i don’t trust y’all yippity bastards. but damn is it pretty to see

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

putting sugar in your cold ass tea doesn’t make it sweet tea you fucking yankee

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

haha yes i’m catholic yes i’m very educated on the (looks at smudged writing on my hand) bibble?

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

i’m wayyyyy too old to worry abt discourse. i’m geriatric, bitch. i’m bones. literally in my grave. i loooove being problematic catch me doing all the funky things i want. i am in the prime of my life.

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

the probability of you getting attacked by a gorilla is very low..... but.......... it’s never zero.....

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

i don’t keep it 100. i keep it 99 because i DO be lying sometimes

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

CANNOT stop thinking about Lilith. catholicism may have removed her from Genesis and made “Eve” adam’s first wife but fuck Eve. Lilith is the only Bible bitch i respect

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

banks are like “you know youve been 2 panda express 3 times this week?” like YEAH maybe i go buy rangoons bc the girl who closes always says she likes my HAIR & sometimes its NICE to have POSITIVE INTERACTION W/ STRANGERS & i steal plastic FORKS from there. is that OKAY with you?

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

@Andrew03Minyard she doesn’t eat chocolate, you dramatic fuck

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

@Andrew03Minyard do i get to know what kinda cuffs i’m getting arrested in or is it a surprise

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

damn, i never look at my pinkies. i need to do that more.

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

@Andrew03Minyard noted! i’ll leave them warmed next to the pile of sleeping cats

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

@Andrew03Minyard i’ll set out some snacks & put the dog away. the kittens are napping but i’ll let them know once they wake up. would you like your cookies warmed or room temperature

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

@Andrew03Minyard if napping and watching desperate housewives is illegal then arrest me i GUESS

[Roland🍀 @rxIxnd]

@Andrew03Minyard what do u want me to do! breathalyze myself? i cannot and i won’t!