ryan allen

Born in wonderful Mancunia, now reside in Cheshire. Professional pole dancer... of a sort. sneakerhead, gamer, football observer, golf ball whacker guy.

[ryan allen @ryana710]

Fucking beautiful stuff.

#MUNAVL
#MUFC

[Football Tweet ⚽ @Footballtweet]

🔊 Just listen to Old Trafford when it was announced that Diogo Dalot was being subbed off.

[ryan allen @ryana710]

That third goal is properly unforgivable. Maguire and Martinez have just abandoned their responsibility and let the keeper hang with that. Yes Lammens should have reacted quicker but the defence just moved aside.
This squad sends us down.

#MUFC #MUNBOU

[Adam Crafton @AdamCrafton_]

Current concern is Man City will be deducted 100 points and still finish above Man Utd

[ryan allen @ryana710]

The fact the official club account genuinely tweeted this about a player who offers as much to this football team as lasagne does to painting and decorating is hilarious.

[Manchester United @ManUtd]

Proud 🔴

[ryan allen @ryana710]

If Patrick Dorgu was a goldfish he’d be that confused he’d try to be a full back and he’d still do a better fucking job than the human equivalent. Absolute wank time and time again.

And if any more time and effort on dalot then humanity needs eradicating.

#MUFC #MUNMCI

[Wigan Warriors 🍒⚪️ @WiganWarriorsRL]

Today we mourn the loss of a true sporting icon, Sir Billy Boston, who has passed away surrounded by his family.

Rugby League’s first knight, a Wigan legend, and "Everybody's Hero," his legacy on and off the field will endure for eternity.

Rest in peace, Sir Billy. 🍒⚪️

[ryan allen @ryana710]

The players couldn’t kick the ball hard enough to beat the first man for 90 minutes but it’s a coaching issue. Football twitter is a fun place to be when they defend some absolutely piss poor players for not being able to do what 12 year olds learn in their first season.

[The Prem Debrief @premdebrief]

This is a coaching issue by the way

Don’t go blaming the players

[ryan allen @ryana710]

Early thoughts for United: bleak.

Dorgu= still shite
Maguire= shite
Shaw= finished
Bruno= peaked last season
New midfield= shite.

Another season of underwhelming obscurity if things don’t change next week.

#MUFC #HULMUN

[ryan allen @ryana710]

@LidlGB letting scalpers and other assorted nonces to bulk buy the air con units in a heat wave because you didn’t put a sensible limit on them in a heatwave is ridiculous behaviour.
Surely someone getting paid a lot of money in one of your offices thought this would happen?

[ryan allen @ryana710]

These are the worst teams we’ve ever seen in an apparent title deciding game and that’s including a season with Leicester and Tottenham being in the running.

Nothing other than vanilla safe passes and slowing the game down. Unbearably dull.

#MCIARS

[ryan allen @ryana710]

Credit where it’s due, to have a stand full of fans who could all have scored at least 2 tries on their own in the last 10 against this Wigan defence is real commitment to being average at best.
Shambles of a performance and no signs of improvement.
#WWRL #SLSTHWIG

[Wigan Warriors 🍒⚪️ @WiganWarriorsRL]

The Warriors are beaten in Round 7.

@procareltd | #WWRL #SLSTHWIG

[ryan allen @ryana710]

How have sky been covering football for nearly 30 years and they still decide to show a needless replay during a counter attack or a set piece?

#MUFC #BURMUN

[ryan allen @ryana710]

United have had some really poor players over the years and especially in the last decade but Dorgu might be the worst of the bunch.
I mean what does he actually offer on the pitch? He can’t beat a man, can’t cross the ball and can’t defend.

#MUFC
#LEEMUN

[ryan allen @ryana710]

United are fast becoming the current day Dr Tottenham for the teams desperately needing 3 points.

Either wolves win this by 2 or United get a crappy penalty awarded in the 88th minute and win 2-1 before making out that they’ve just won the title on the last day.

#MUFC
#WOLMUN

[ryan allen @ryana710]

Amorim sticking to a negative system in a game like that is suicide

Dorgu, Amad and Mbuemo not being able to beat a man at least once in 98minutes is schoolboy stuff

The entire squad just thinking ‘fuck it let Bruno do something’ is sadly where we’re at AGAIN

#MUFC
#MUNEVE

[ryan allen @ryana710]

Dorgu and Zirkzee aren’t premier league level players at all are they and it’s so frustrating to watch them fail to adapt so often.
Think both will be gone in summer if not earlier.

#MUFC
#MUNEVE

[ryan allen @ryana710]

Amad and Dorgu on the same side is worse than Dalot and Garnacho was and they were impressively shit.

#MUFC
#MUNEVE

[ryan allen @ryana710]

The award lost all credibility when it just became a coin toss between Ronaldo and Messi every season but United’s best academy graduate since Paul Scholes not making the top 3 after what he showed last season is just plain ignorant.
Just a shit instagram contest now

#BallonDor

[Ballon d'Or @ballondor]

Ranked at the 18th place for the 2025 Men's Ballon d'Or!

Scott McTominay
@sscnapoli
@ScotlandNT

#ballondor

[ryan allen @ryana710]

Here we go again…
The board will back the manager - we will continue to be shit - he will get sacked in November - carrick will take over temporary - we write this season off while we search for a new coach and an identity - we repeat the process in 2027.

#MUFC #MCIMUN

[Adam Crafton @AdamCrafton_]

My big idea, bear with me: Man Utd should aim more crosses at the big 6”5 striker.