ryan bleichner

Janice Soprano stan account

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

If anyone ever heard the way I talk to a distant Bluetooth device that keeps stealing the sound from my phone they would for sure think I abuse dogs and cats and MiiiWife

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

Hot tip: You can use that huggie heart care reaction on facebook in the southern bless your heart context and people don’t even realize it. It’s way more satisfying than scrolling on by or getting into a fruitless debate.

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

@nbcsnl @enor_anad Evelyn as F 🎅

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

RE: @JasonIsbell 😢

[Rogert @xeroger]

To smithereens has to be one of worst ways to get blown

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

*I’M sorry you chose to get upset about my actions*
But
*I’M gonna go ahead and serve myself*
Even if it directly undermines what all of you are fighting for. 🧀🧀🧀🐀

[Yashar Ali 🐘 @yashar]

After six days of backlash, Drew Barrymore has uploaded this video responding to the news that she is bringing her talk show back during the writer’s strike.

She says the reason she's bringing her show back is she managed to do it during the pandemic, so she feels the strike shouldn’t stop her from bringing back the show when people need it.

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

Yesterday evening I saw some old dude that looked like Ted Cruz by CVS. I thought “oh nice, I haven’t heard about that dweeb in a while”. Immediately after, being a regular victim of strange coincidence I thought “damnit, now he’s gonna do something famously stupid again”

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

Y’all’ve angered the god of chain restaurants, Taco John. Everything put in its place is going to fail until you come to your senses and put a Taco John’s back where it belongs.

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

Fuck that hole in one. Look at how easily he can run at like 30 fuckin miles an hour wtf. Why is it so smooth and graceful too?

[Niko @nikotaughtyou]

Dawg Steph just shot a hole-in-one LMAOOOOO

He might not be a real person

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

Bentons wild man. You think you know everyone but I’ve yet to go a 5 year period without discovering a brand new {old stock} Forby that’s wilder than the last

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

We need a post nut clarity term for eating embarrassing garbage food.

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

@enor_anad

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

Ok, enough with all the ‘I was today years old’ and ‘What? No way…’ accounts repeating mostly obvious tips and tricks. You guys can be done now we’ve had enough

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

@enor_anad @clhubes lmao Wrangling a screaming baby on a plane is far more stressful than having to hear one. But, off the record, my inner Larry David rather enjoys hearing him say what we’ve all thought

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

Apparently I’m old and curmudgeony enough to get annoyed about people doing April fools bits ‘on my Saturday off’. Y’all keep that shit for the work week.

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

@enor_anad

[Kate Mooney @yatinbrooklyn]

so my neighbor and i both had mouse sightings this week. here’s how our landlord responded:

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

@enor_anad @punished_cait As a whole, I think Disney fans have handled it fairly well. But this group is probably going to get worse before they get better. I can visualize the “not my mountain” t shirts already.

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

God fucken damnit never mind, dave severin is here. The vibe is off

[ryan bleichner @ryanbleich]

Not to brag but I’m easily the hottest person in Rural King right now.
AND it’s deer season, so it’s kinda packed 😌