Ryan Gruber

Rider of bikes. Rafter of whitewater. Player of horn. Cancer survivor. Radically pragmatic. Stoic. Probably laughing when you get really mad at things On Here.

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

Germans favourite scoreline

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

@BlueCheese608 @paulesq711 There's one by East Towne, near 94/151.

[Ben Chase @BenGChase]

We have Italians discovering free refills,
Japanese discovering unlimited chips and salsa, and Germans road tripping the country becoming Ella Fellas.

In this USA 250 simulation, it’s quite simple, we’re winning the World Cup.

[Sara Eisen @SaraEisen]

We should make sure Americans are not pursuing entrepreneurial, game-changing, humanity-improving innovations and inventions that create enormous value and catapult American competitiveness? That culture and pursuit are what makes America special and unique. And it’s why Europe has no trillion dollar companies and is nowhere in the ai revolution or technology

[OutKick @Outkick]

Inject this into my veins 😤🇺🇸

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

I love tweets like this because Jacob Frey talking about something cool downtown is at this weird nexus of "I'd never go downtown, I'll get shot by a bunch of Somalis" and "how dare you tweet this out when downwardly-mobile left-wing failsons can barely afford their Doordash."

[Mayor Jacob Frey @MayorFrey]

Minneapolis is bringing back the largest dinner table in America — and we couldn’t be more excited. https://t.co/LdV4SCkQXV

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

@jessesingal He's a good example of "you become your audience."

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

Imagine thinking a rational person would listen to this and conclude "this school district's finances are a mess and the whole thing is on the verge of imploding, but you know what would fix it? Letting this lady spend a giant pile of money."

MPS is so deeply unserious.

[Mark Gilson 🌱 @markwgilson]

School Board: Minneapolis (@MPS_News)
When: June 2026
Topic: Deconstructing enrollment 🤡

I can't make this 💩up if I tried.

Board member Lori Norvell challenges us to look at enrollment "in a different way" because we look at things "through the lens of what we know as very white centered, Eurocentric education."

What's her suggestion?

"I don't know what we might have."

She just knows we need to do some deconstructing...

"I would challenge us to deconstruct our ideas on that, deconstruct the things that we're comfortable with, and really think about what is best for our Native American students and their families."

It's cool though, she hits all the right virtue signal words:
- Eurocentric
- white centered
- deconstruct
- harm
- comfortable/space

I just want all of you reading this to realize 19,774 people voted for Lori, and she holds a board position in a district with ~30k students.

It's worth the time really internalizing how crazy that is...

[Bonchie @bonchieredstate]

Euros are mesmerized by the existence of free refills and ice in America, and you think this country isn’t great?

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

Freddy also has Ella Langley in his DMs, and is on pace to have the greatest month in America any visitor has had in our 250 year existence. Couldn't be happier for him - the joy he shows in exploring everyday aspects of our lives is a reminder of how good we really do have it.

[Freddy🇩🇪 @FreddyLA7]

This is not what we expected to happen when we boarded the plane to the USA last week😭

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

@rash_trash Hahahahahaha Ron Greer...

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

@G9_Locks @theoldzealand Dude looks like three-quarters of the men at every sports bar in America on an NFL Sunday.

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

@G9_Locks @theoldzealand Mike Trout would go completely unrecognized in most American cities also.

[Emily Zanotti 🦝 @emzanotti]

I’m actually kind of enjoying this era where we just find out everyone who lectured us about how terrible we all were for years turn out to be completely full of shit

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

It's such a supremely New York Times thing to take an occasion like this, a celebration of a church that is truly one of the modern wonders of the world, and be like "how can we find a both-sides angle where we can argue this might be shitty?"

https://t.co/zrZGSgptLk

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

@FrederickMelo "Community" lol.

Hmmm, who was the councilmember for Ward 1 back then, when all the planning and discussions around zoning in this corridor were occurring? Say, from 2008 to 2013...

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

@SteveSubera @vincempls (Oh sorry, that's southwest Wisconsin, *southeast* Minnesota...)

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

@SteveSubera @vincempls You tell them, fellow badger. Driftless impostors, southwest Minnesota!

[Ryan Gruber @ryangruber]

@BlueCheese608 She just doesn't have all those votes locked down in the Atwood neighborhood. 😳