RyanH

Self-Appointed Bathtub Boi | Clipper Fan and Coper

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

I think people should be allowed to have as much money as they want but they have to carry it on their person

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Jon Kent @jonkentcomrade]

This is pathetic.

[Tom Brennan @Brennanator]

“Liz Lemon, this is Dan Houseman.”
“It’s Danhausen.”
“Whatever his name is, I gave him 5 dollars to curse Martin Lawrence in 1996 and I’ve been on top ever since”

[Todd Spence @Todd_Spence]

George Carlin's standup over footage of Splinter from the live Ninja Turtles show from the '90s 🤣 so good

[RyanH @ryanh]

@DavidLaneDesign Need to know where these pants are from, big dawg!

[Nintendo of Europe @NintendoEurope]

A legend, reborn.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is coming to #NintendoSwitch2 later this year.

[Nintendo of America @NintendoAmerica]

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time will be reborn on Nintendo Switch 2 in 2026. #NintendoDirect

[Sleeper @SleeperHQ]

FIRE THIS CAMERA MAN IMMEDIATELY 😭

[NYC DOT @NYC_DOT]

don’t make us take this down, bro

[LakeShowYo @LakeShowYo]

Knicks fans are insane 😭😭😭

“My Mayor is Muslim, my bagel is Jewish, my Christian’s Dior… Knicks in 4!!!”

[Mia “GIRT” Lastname @themiasandrist]

Devastated.

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

Well, David Hasselhoff is a huge rock star in Germany, where his latest album sold five million copies this week.

Which once again proves my theory:

Germans love David Hasselhoff.

[The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller]

“Your hat says ‘Trump was wrong about everything’ — it should say YOU are wrong about everything.”

“That’s adorable. Burn! Pam Bondi wrote that for you?”

[LA Clippers @LAClippers]

Please see the latest update below in red 👀

[LA Clippers @LAClippers]

WE GOT THE 5TH OVERALL PICK
WE GOT THE 5TH OVERALL PICK
WE GOT THE 5TH OVERALL PICK
WE GOT THE 5TH OVERALL PICK
WE GOT THE 5TH OVERALL PICK

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

The first trailer for ‘COYOTE VS ACME’ has been released.

In theaters on August 28.

[RyanH @ryanh]

@DonHelbig @interludej That’s my ole friend @TheMarkening and he’s done AMAZING WORK giving Jungle Jim’s a solid footing in the social media/content creator world!

Him and his team are NEXT LEVEL!

[Molly Morrison @mollyhannahm]

😭

[𝚃 @T_wontmiss]

24 years old.
Fully paid off Costco hotdog.
It's not "parents money".
It's not luck.
It's consistency.
It's discipline.
I grind EVERYDAY to live this lifestyle.