Ryan MacLeod

[stochastic troy parrott @bootcutgenes]

The Oppenheimer marketing team has an opportunity to do the funniest thing possible

[mark normand @marknorm]

Technically, we’re all pre med

[litquidity @litcapital]

She’s a 9.1 but she’s inflation

[James @CaucasianJames]

i forgive michael phelps for smoking weed

[jame @kloogans]

every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun

[Sonic the Hedgehog @sonic_hedgehog]

I'm so fast.

[Seth Mandel @SethAMandel]

This is an extraordinarily weird unit of measurement for an asteroid

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

It is fucked up that no matter how good a pie smells, it won’t actually make you float up off the ground when you smell it.

[Annaliese🫧who is 5’1 @AHHHnnaliese]

Yo can I hit your vape?
Me with a $2 kazoo: my what?

[𝓥𝓮𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓬𝓪 @friedurethra]

girls please stop wearing Harley Davidson shirts if you don’t listen to his music

[mark normand @marknorm]

When crickets tell each other jokes, they must assume it's going terribly.

[Steven W Skinner @SkinnerSteven]

“Oh hell yes” - Schrödinger, reading the first line of A Tale of Two Cities

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

u want me to watch a video. the thing that killed the radio star

[ret @rad_milk]

god gives his earliest bedtimes to his tiredest sleepyheads

[Leo 🦅 @hoeglizzy]

If her nails cost $130, I’m sending her 3 million hundred thousand infinity million dollars

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

timothee chalamet is the tom cruise of michael ceras

[Jack “CouRage” Dunlop @CouRageJD]

Today, I’m thankful for having a fat juicy ass.