Ryan Schafer

Playwright. Senior copywriter. Screenwriter. Actor. Self-proclaimed sex symbol. Wichita State graduate. GB Packers fanatic. #YNWA he/him

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

@alexewing_ @BBCSport @editor_drs That Paris Hilton to Haaland sequence was 👨‍🍳😘

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

@FOXSports Premature echalkulation

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

Premature echalkulation.

[FOX Sports @FOXSports]

The referee has a spray foam malfunction 😅

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

@KirkHerbstreit KH, I was in your same position 16 years ago - loved the World Cup & decided to keep the magic going by investing energy into club soccer. It’s very daunting but it’s made my love for the game grow so much. Im just a rando from KS but I’d be happy to answer any & all Qs you have.

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

@AndyHermanNFL And that’s not even including the last minute winner by Mac Allister against Forest. #YNWA

[Aakash Gupta @aakashgupta]

Ring paid somewhere between $8 and $10 million for a 30-second Super Bowl spot to tell 120 million viewers that their cameras now scan neighborhoods using AI.

The math is wild. Ring has roughly 20 million devices in American homes. Search Party is enabled by default. The opt-out rate on default settings in consumer tech is historically around 5%. So approximately 19 million cameras are now running AI pattern matching on anything that moves past your front door. Today the target is dogs. The same infrastructure already handles “Familiar Faces,” which builds biometric profiles of every person your camera sees, whether they know about it or not.

Ring settled with the FTC for $5.8 million after employees had unrestricted access to customers’ bedroom and bathroom footage for years. They’re now partnered with Flock Safety, which routes footage to local law enforcement. ICE has accessed Flock data through local police departments acting as intermediaries. Senator Markey’s investigation found Ring’s privacy protections only apply to device owners. If you’re a neighbor, a delivery driver, a passerby, you have no rights and no recourse.

This tells you everything about Amazon’s actual product. The customer paid for the camera. The customer pays the electricity. The customer pays the $3.99/month subscription. And Amazon gets a surveillance grid that would cost tens of billions to build from scratch, with an AI layer activated by default, and a law enforcement pipeline already connected.

They wrapped all of that in a lost puppy commercial because that’s the only version of this story anyone would willingly opt into.

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

This is the opposite of my reminder…

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

Just a gentle reminder for my Packers: All gas, no f***ing brake. #gopackgo

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

More like DAVANTE Wicks. What a catch. What a throw. What a win. Happy Thanksgiving to all us Packers fans. #GoPackGo

[Spectre @spectre0799]

King Kunta but the beat is Ghostbusters

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

We need a “I did it all for the Pookie” shirt ASAP. @cheeseheadtv @AaronNagler @coreybehnke

[Kay Adams @heykayadams]

This is one happy Pookie.

So grateful to check in with Packers QB Jordan Love after his historic, unforgettable win over the Steelers & Aaron Rodgers.

Link here: https://t.co/HXv92RHl6Y

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

@TheREALJNu Hahaha! I remember wanting to listen to this song on repeat at work. This was pre-Spotify so the only way to do it was to pull up the music video on YouTube. I had a couple of cubemates get indoctrinated that day.

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

Jeremy is the best! One of my favorite @dropout members. Excited to see him on SNL.

[Saturday Night Live @nbcsnl]

Welcome to the cast!

Tommy Brennan
Jeremy Culhane
Ben Marshall
Kam Patterson
Veronika Slowikowska

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

Holy mother-loving cheese curds.

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

ESPN Sources: Cowboys are trading three-time All-Pro LB Micah Packers to the Green Bay Packers.

Parsons and the Packers already have reached agreement on a four-year, $188 million contract. @DavidMulugheta of @Athletesfirst had a hand in the trade and ultimately negotiating the record-breaking contract that includes $120 million fully guaranteed at signing and makes Parsons the highest-paid non-QB in NFL history.

[Liverpool FC @LFC]

Our lad from Portugal. Forever ❤️

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

@cheeseheadtv That’s my brother - @theschafershow1. Go pack go!

[Adam Johnson @adamjohnsonCHI]

It’s literally this bit

[5hahem @shaTIRED]

kendrick bringing out serena williams to crip walk after drake stalked that woman publicly for years and obsessively threw shots at her for turning him down is so wild, that man is the definition of chaotic good

[Ryan Schafer @ryanschafer]

Game Over. Hahahahahaha

I love you, Kendrick.

[Wichita Airport ICT @FlyICT]

We are waiting for details about the crash in DC and will provide updates as information becomes available. We have activated our Incident Family Support Team in the terminal media room where family members can wait for information. American Airlines has provided this phone number to call for information: 800-679-8215. Our thoughts and prayers are with all those impacted by this tragic event.