Mr. Woo

parody account, can’t use anything against me in the court of law

[Mr. Woo @ryanwoo3]

I take ibuprofen on an empty stomach. We are not the same

[Mr. Woo @ryanwoo3]

No one ever sets their car ac temp to 75 I bet

[Mr. Woo @ryanwoo3]

My first executive order as president would be bringing back crucifixion for telemarketers

[RedditCFB @RedditCFB]

💀

[Mr. Woo @ryanwoo3]

Kara is 27 and is just now finding out what ROY G BIV is

[Mr. Woo @ryanwoo3]

It’s incredible that Kara can put a catheter in someone but can’t put the shower curtain in the shower

[Mr. Woo @ryanwoo3]

@mikeloft_ @LAHetrick 😂😂😂

[Mr. Woo @ryanwoo3]

RIP Hooters. Had a good run

[Mr. Woo @ryanwoo3]

@mikeloft_ @PGATOUR @McIlroyRory @attproam

[Mr. Woo @ryanwoo3]

@united flight 3591 to Newark

Delayed 4 hours with boarding at 9:30 and still not boarding. Agent at desk nowhere to be found.

At least I got my $15 meal voucher tho! Losers

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

The 19-year-olds who attend my favorite university didn’t score enough touchdowns today so I’m blackout drunk in the garage while my son takes his first steps. My wife begs me to look over but I’m staring at our roof, wondering if the height could break my legs. “No.” I whisper.

[Mr. Woo @ryanwoo3]

@CurtIDontPanick @MarkMaddenX Had 2 so far, gonna have to get at least one more in before next week

[Mr. Woo @ryanwoo3]

@netflix You guys suck

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Let that sink in

[Dakota Meyer @whoaduder]

@elonmusk It would be a shame if this got shared around

[Collin Rugg @CollinRugg]

NEW: Biden counter-programs Kamala Harris and says Gov. Ron DeSantis is doing a great job just hours after Harris said he was doing an awful job.

This is crazy.

As Harris was on The View slamming DeSantis, Biden told reporters he gave DeSantis his cell phone number because he is doing such a good job.

Kamala: DeSantis is utterly irresponsible for not taking my call.

DeSantis: Harris has not once called me for hurricane assistance in 3.5 years.

Kamala on The View: DeSantis is playing political games.

Biden: Ron DeSantis is doing a great job and I even gave him my personal cell phone number.

[Kiwi Bear @WojteksGrandson]

I mean yeah I guess compared to 45 dudes she's pretty fuckable

[Mr. Woo @ryanwoo3]

Kara just found what cruise control is. Can you imagine?

[Barry @BarryOnHere]

Arrest the kid too.