ryan

folding laundry for my 8 sons.

[ryan @ryanxcx]

me: *drops hydroflask*
hydroflask:

[ryan @ryanxcx]

gay guys love vacuum machines. f*cking disgusting pigs, of course they do.

[ryan @ryanxcx]

drinking is so like… um i have to pee?

[ryan @ryanxcx]

why is subway open 24 hours

[ryan @ryanxcx]

A Gay Guy At The Gym Looks Like Another Gay Guy At The Gym’s Other Location

[ryan @ryanxcx]

when something is flavored “orange popsicle” it’s like ok that’s a hat on a hat.

[ryan @ryanxcx]

@propaganda91 this is moi. 🥰

[ryan @ryanxcx]

i hope this trump presidency means more red bull girls!

[ryan @ryanxcx]

betty boop was a sex worker, no?

[ryan @ryanxcx]

honestly it’s like… don’t round a corner and then act surprised when someone’s there.

[ryan @ryanxcx]

sorry to say but some of these orcs are kinda cute! 🥰

[ryan @ryanxcx]

lifting weights is like well so this number actually doesn’t define me!

[ryan @ryanxcx]

when the load bar stops towards the end it’s like ok i get tht i’ve been there before… but also like don’t start something if u aren’t gonna finish it?????

[ryan @ryanxcx]

i don’t know about you but i’ve never heard of a motel having a bar.

[ryan @ryanxcx]

going on dates is always like great i have one hundred things in my pockets.

[ryan @ryanxcx]

omg old people LOVE sweets??? what is that about??? so cute and sad. have ur sweet treat and dead teeth betty. 🥰💗

[ryan @ryanxcx]

i’d pull the trigger.

[ryan @ryanxcx]

ok gun to my head..

[ryan @ryanxcx]

postmates notifications on fridays are always like “what are you doing tonight you crazy and lazy FUCK????? order in or die. tap to reveal promo code for $10 off orders of $189+. night night, fattie!!!”

[ryan @ryanxcx]

kids who grew up in san diego will be like “i went to high school in the ocean.”