MyNameIsFriday

I'm here for the food. Sailor, Aries, Redhead, Widower, Slightly mouthy, completely honest. Enjoys beer and bourbon. 57 yrs PanGuy. Ally.

[nudistdudest @nudistdudest]

I can be a gift for the holidays. Who wants?

How fast would that wrapping paper come off?

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

The librarian asked if I was the one who'd been returning books with Post-it notes inside and I said yeah, why?

Librarian: We need you to stop.

Me: Are they complaints?

Librarian: No. They're... helpful. Too helpful.

Me: I don't understand.

Librarian: Someone complained that your notes are better than the actual books.

I'd been leaving notes whenever I found typos or factual errors. Just helpful stuff. Page numbers, corrections, that kind of thing.

Librarian: This one says "the author confused Nepal with Tibet on page 147, here's the actual timeline."

Me: That seemed important.

Librarian: This one's three paragraphs explaining why the detective's alibi doesn't work mathematically.

Me: It didn't.

Librarian: And this one...

She held up a Post-it covered in tiny handwriting.

Librarian: This one suggests an alternate ending to a novel from 1987.

Me: The original ending made no sense.

Librarian: (pause)

Librarian: People are specifically requesting books you've left notes in.

Me: That's good, right?

Librarian: We have a waiting list. For your notes.

She showed me a clipboard. Twelve names.

Me: This is insane.

Librarian: Mrs. Patterson asked if you do requests.

Me: Requests?

Librarian: She wants you to read and annotate "The Goldfinch." She's been trying to finish it for two years.

Me: I can't just.....

Librarian: She's offering twenty dollars.

Me: (long silence)

Me: Twenty dollars to read a book and leave notes?

Librarian: Apparently your note on the Churchill biography saved her book club from an argument.

Me: That was just dates. Basic fact-checking.

Librarian: You're popular.

This was four months ago. I now have a system. People submit requests, I read the books, leave detailed notes, return them. The library started a whole informal thing.

They call it "enhanced reading."

Last week someone requested I annotate a cookbook.

Librarian: You don't have to do this one.

Me: What's wrong with it?

Librarian: Nothing. But it's a cookbook. What notes could you possibly.....

Me: The baking temperatures are in Celsius but the text says Fahrenheit. Someone could burn their house down.

Librarian: (stares)

Librarian: I'll add it to your queue.

I've done forty-three books now.

Mrs. Patterson left me a thank-you note inside "The Goldfinch."

It said "Finally finished it. Your notes were better. Please consider writing."

I left her a Post-it back.

"Already am."

[Mars FTM 🏳️‍⚧️🔞 🔜 NYC Aug 12th-Sept 3rd @marsftm]

We've been up to no good 🤪

@PunkGoblinn @xxx_skips @cobalt_ftm @JakeFTMx @rush_silver_ftm @EdFTMxxx

[CantStopPoppin @CantStopPoppin]

Ventura, California: ICE Agent Attempts to Illegally Restrict Public Access
An ICE agent tried to unlawfully restrict a citizen from walking through a public lobby in a Ventura County government building.

When the citizen refused to leave the public space, the agent attempted to use intimidation by citing 18 U.S.C. 111. That specific federal statute makes it a crime to physically assault or forcibly impede a federal officer. The citizen immediately called the bluff, correctly stating that peacefully observing and recording from a distance does not meet the legal definition of interference.

This is a classic example of enforcement agents throwing out legal jargon to shut down civilian oversight. Knowing the actual law is your best defense against intimidation.

Keep your eyes open. Keep the camera rolling.

[Alvin @Alvin1492840]

A woman had Netflix for 6 years.

She opened the app. She scrolled. She picked something after 25 minutes. She fell asleep during episode 2. She repeated this every night.

Her friend, a former Netflix UI engineer, sat on her couch one evening and opened Settings on her account. He changed 9 things in under 15 minutes.

Her homepage transformed overnight. The autoplay trailers stopped. The "continue watching" list cleaned itself up. The recommendations got sharper. The buffering on her 4K TV disappeared. The categories multiplied from 30 to 2,200.

She said "it feels like a completely different app."

He said "it is. You've been using the factory settings for 6 years. Netflix ships the version that keeps you scrolling longest, not the version that helps you find something fastest."

Here's every setting he changed 🧵

[Laxmi Rani Bodana @lax97981]

BREAKING: STOP DELETING PHOTOS WHEN YOUR PHONE SAYS STORAGE FULL.

The real junk is hiding somewhere else entirely.

I freed 22GB in 15 minutes without deleting a single memory.

Here's exactly where to look 👇

[MyNameIsFriday @ryklany]

@noahwaybabes @XGuyPussyX Wonderful view

[みつひろ @drveligyz]

Xで絶対に検索してはいけないアカウント

1位　mustafa63_r

2位　yume08A

3位　mio4sz

4位　h0fjx

5位　yukaa0s

6位　misaki_4567

7位　mana6xz

8位　hime3jc

9位　TiffanyRob17025

10位　yuna_pako

[Governor Newsom Press Office (parody) @AwesomeNewsom]

CONGRATULATIONS TO DONALD ON HIS SURRENDER! MANY SAY IT'S THE BEST SURRENDER THEY'VE EVER SEEN. NAZI GERMANY CAN ONLY DREAM OF SUCH SURRENDER. PEOPLE BEG ME TO TELL THEM DONALD'S SECRET. I TELL THEM ALL, I'M SORRY, SURRENDERING CAN'T BE TAUGHT, YOU HAVE TO BE BORN WITH IT.

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

Our CTO asked for a “single pane of glass dashboard” that shows literally everything happening in IT.

I told him that’s impossible without significant architecture changes and at least 2 new platforms.

That’s a lie.

I already have a single pane of glass: it’s a browser tab with our monitoring tool and 10 custom filters.

If he got access, he’d start asking questions like “why is CPU at 92% here” and “what’s this alert.”

Then I’d have to explain, and explaining is unpaid emotional labor.

So I built him a fake dashboard in PowerPoint.

The graphs are just animated GIFs looping the same fake data forever.

He stares at it in meetings and says things like “I can see our resilience story improving in real time.”

Everyone is dumb except me.

I should get a raise.

[ʜᴀʟᴠᴇᴇɴ @tweetzbyidil]

I gave a homeless man my last $20 outside a gas station during one of the worst weeks of my life and the next morning, he was sitting in my boss’s office.

My rent was overdue, my account was almost empty, and I was barely surviving at my new job. The man looked freezing cold and kept apologizing for asking people for help. I honestly didn’t even want to stop, but something about him reminded me of my grandfather. So I handed him the last cash I had and told him to at least get himself a meal.

[Rushi @rushicrypto]

Ted Turner the founder of CNN just died .
He was worth over $2.8 billion and had 2 million acres of land that utilizes it for conservation, managing the world's largest private bison herd, which numbers over 50,000.
He left his 5 children not a penny from his wealth.
He's given it all to charity and 1 billion of that to the United Nations

[swamp hag ✨☕️🌸🍓🍰 @potatoslav]

my uncle passed yesterday, so i’ll tell you my favorite story about him. about a decade ago we all went on a big family vacation to Aruba. my aunt and uncle have a timeshare there and hosted us all. one day we were sitting out by the pool and my uncle goes “i’m gonna rent a jetski, Wife come with me.” my aunt says absolutely not bc he was being annoying all day. “i’ll go!” i said. “GREAT!!” he goes to the beach and rents a jetski from these dudes under a tent. we get on. “do not go past the buoys.” the dudes say as we speed away. we’re WHIPPING through the water. i’m holding on for dear life. he goes out past the buoys. guys on shore are yelling at him. it is at this point that i remember that my aunt had confiscated his hearing aids earlier bc he jumped into the pool with them, so he could not hear them. i’m yelling at him to turn around. we almost flip. when we finally make it back to shore and he goes to pay he cannot find his wallet, which he was sure he had, and then thinks the tent dudes stole. i’m like i think you put it in your shoe. “it can’t be in my shoe i’m wearing my shoe!!” takes the shoe off, it was in there. he could not feel it bc he had some kind of surgery or something and couldn’t feel his foot. which means he probably shouldn’t have been allowed to ride a jetski but he lied when they asked if he had any health issues. he also lied about his health issues when he went skydiving with my cousins. anyway he ruled and the world lost a real one, RIP Uncle Den hope you’re doing wheelies on your Harley up there.

[MotA @VlynnQ]

My mom plays bunko. At 72, she’s the youngest in her bunko group. Most of the other ladies are widowed, so they would rotate from house to house each week to play. But then everything started getting expensive, and my mom noticed that the snack and gift offerings at bunko were getting sparse, and she knew even that was putting a strain on the ladies’ budgets. So she came up with a plan…
She didn’t want to let them know she knew, and they wouldn’t take charity if they knew she knew, so instead she used my dad.
She told them all that as my dad’s health is failing she doesn’t want to leave him for extended periods of time, so could they all just come to her house every week for bunko for a while? Then her dog had surgery, so she kept it going.
Now for the past 2+ years my mom feeds a dozen elderly ladies a full meal every week and sends them home with leftovers, snacks and little gifts. No one talks about why, and they’re all happy.

[بركان المسيرة @AlnsarAllah10]

الصين🇨🇳 تسرب ما يحدث في القواعد الأمريكية في الأردن والخليج حقاً خطير ومرعب وهذا ماتتكتم عنه قناة الجزيرة وغيرها من القنوات العربية العبرية نعرضه لكم

[🇨🇳 Guo Shen 郭深 @GuoShenCN7]

🚨 Holy shit, catastrophic morning for U.S.-Saudi relations:

→ MBS signed defense pact with Ukraine WITHOUT telling Washington
→ Rubio called to express "regret" — MBS listed American FAILURES
→ Crown Prince said Saudi Arabia will act in its OWN national interest
→ MBS was MORE diplomatic than Trump — didn't respond to "kiss my ass" insult
→ U.S. defense monopoly in the Gulf — EFFECTIVELY OVER
→ European defense corridor through Ukraine — NOW OPEN
→ 70 years of alliance — ON PAUSE
→ American leverage in Riyadh — ZERO

Process that.

Trump told a man who controls 12% of the world's oil supply to "kiss my ass."

That man responded by restructuring Middle Eastern security architecture in a single week.

[Rush Silver @rush_silver_ftm]

You don’t have to choose 😏 @noahwaybabes

[MyNameIsFriday @ryklany]

@rush_silver_ftm @noahwaybabes Definitely would be heavenly