Three weeks ago I paid off my husband’s student loan, all £22,400 of it, as a thank you for the two years he worked two jobs while I was in chemo.
I added a note that said now we’re even. Everyone in my family called him the best husband alive for how he’d handled those two years.
He sent a screenshot of the payment to his brother within the hour. Last night he transferred the money back into my account, all of it, without saying a word first…
My husband has been my driver for the past 10 years of our marriage.
He drives me to work.
Drives me for my business.
Drives me for shopping.
Anywhere I want to go.
I don’t drive. He does.
He does it so well that if he comes home and doesn’t meet me in the house, he will call, locate me, come and pick me wherever I am, and bring me back home. Not from control, but from care. He simply doesn’t want his wife to stress herself.
Recently, I decided to register for my theory test so I can do my practical and start driving. Oga has already declared that he will not allow me to drive at night because he doesn’t joke with his wife.
For 10 years, he has been consistent.
There were days we both had night shifts. He would finish his own by 6am, drive straight to my workplace, park in front of my company, and sleep in his car until I closed by 8am. Then he would happily take me home, after collecting his kiss 😁
Yes, he gets a kiss when he drops me off.
And another one when he picks me up.
One day, a colleague mistook him for a homeless man because he was sleeping in his car outside our office. I laughed and told her, “That’s my husband.”
Over the years, many people have mistaken him for my driver. He would drive me somewhere, park patiently, and wait in his car until I was done. No complaints. Not once in 10 years.
Love doesn’t always shout.
Sometimes it waits quietly in a parked car at 6am. And no he is not a simp, he is just expressing love in his own way.
We've been married 5 years. These are the rules we refuse to break:
• Bed is only for sleep and sex
• No phones in bedroom
• Kids in bed = we talk. Sometimes 5 mins, sometimes 3 hours
• Pray together before sleep
• All meals together, no screens
• Never criticize each other in public
My son is watching how I treat his mother.
I cannot marry an unambitious Person.
I want to attend conferences where my wife would deliver keynote speeches, be a member of panels, etc, and I get to scream 'Do you know that lady? That's my wife'😊😊
One of my friends went completely silent for a whole YEAR. She locked in, chose God, chose sobriety, and didn’t look back. Now she’s in her new home, driving her new car, running her own hair studio/school.
When God says “detach,” you don’t owe anyone a reason. You just surrender. I never took her silence personal, and watching the blessings that followed her obedience has been beautiful.
I texted my husband at 10am that I received bad news about my father’s health and within 15 mins he was at my office, had already called my assistant to clear my calendar (before I could even walk to her office) and put me in the car to go to the hospital. He sat with me for 8 hours in an uncomfortable chair, he lost his entire work day including a court appearance, made sure my mom and I stayed hydrated (important), asked questions to doctors that I couldn’t think of, and never once complained.
I am sure there are millions of partners who have done the same in a loved one’s time of need but in my line of work it is easy to forget what love truly looks like.
If they want to they will.
Christmas week 2007. I had relocated for a new job and was only on the job for 4 months. I left the office to pick my wife at home. As we drove out, I got a call to return back to the office for an emergency meeting. I left her in the car and went upstairs only to join over 80 individuals in a conference room where they announced a mass layoff effective the same day. I dropped my badge and laptop and went back to the car smiling. We went to the mall and I acted normal the entire day without saying a word and I went to spoil her at LV.
We got home that night and she broke the news to me that she was pregnant and she had done a surgery 3 years prior and we were told the chances of having kids was less than 1%, something I didn't disclose to any family member before and after we got married.
Happy and depressed at the same time all through the Christmas holiday, I didn't reveal to her I had lost my job.
January 5th, 2008 I drove 9hrs to Orlando, FL and used my last $2,500 to attend a Scrum Master certification and slept in my car after the training. Came back home after the training and applied for jobs for weeks leaving the house daily at 7am pretending to go to work. Never revealing to her I lost my job, confused and not sure what to do without any income plus a baby on the way, I acted normal the whole time. Finally a call came across for an interview with a health insurance company in Maryland. I did 3 interviews and got a call at the end of the day with a job offer to resume immediately the following Monday. I packed my bags and drove 12 hrs to Maryland to start work.
That job paid me $125,000 annually plus travel expenses coming from a salary of $65,000.
I only revealed this to her one month after I had gotten two and paychecks was very soft! We had our 1st son September 2008! I named him Isaac "One who laughs"......
faith, grit and self belief!
Dear son @ShingaiMusasiwa
You are 21 yrs old. 4 yrs younger than when I had you. Here is what will happen over the next 26 years:
1) From the about 150 people you actually call your “homie” by my age you’d have buried about 20 of them. To accidents, sickness and self neglect.
2) You will not be in contact with 99% of those who remain. You will start to out grow or branch away from your circle rapidly.
3) You will regret every cent you wasted on alcohol and vapes. As you will be able to quantify 26yrs of waste. You will hate yourself for spending so much to impress people you don’t even like with shit you don’t even need.
4) The woman you think you love now , and spend the rest of your life with , will be gone and you won’t even talk. You may even have a child or 2. Or 3.
5) You won’t remember any of the fleeting sexual partners you sacrificed your soul, wealth or relationships for. You won’t even remember what they looked like.
6) You will look in the mirror and curse your younger self for every burger , kebab and junk food that got you type 2 diabetic and obese. You will wonder why you didn’t hit the gym and keep as fit as you were.
7) You will realise that money brings as many problems as it “solves”.
8) Everything you think matters today won’t matter at all. The sports team. The rapper. The hobby. TV shows. TikTok channels.
9) You won’t even know where your degree or A’level certificates are, or when you last saw them.
10) The more you are able to afford, the less things you actually want. You start doing things for everyone else and not yourself.
11) You will finally have the answer to the question “is there more to life”… and the answer will be NO.
——
None of these are written in stone and you can change a lot of these things NOW. After 25, habits become extremely hard to break.
Good night boy.
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