Sarah Salyer

Just call me Slayer.

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

“I’m obsessing? You just tried to call Japan on a brownie.” #GraceandFrankie

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

This is literally the worst. #Debates2020

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

Anyone else think that the “mind blown” emoji was actually an emoji with a shower cap? Just me? Okay.

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

I always feel really stellar about myself when I go to the hair salon and they ask, “Anything else? Brow wax? Lip wax?” #SorryMyMustacheIsShowing

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

The Dollar Store Backlash Has Begun https://t.co/S3ZCs5JxzE

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

Had a dream last night I was putting out a fire with more fire which adequately describes my state of mind lately.

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

Spent a long time staring at my head in a Kohl’s dressing room today because I thought I saw a gray hair. So that’s where I’m at in my life.

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

I wish today’s youths would realize we made ‘90s fashion mistakes so they wouldn’t have to.

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

Finally watching the last episode of #TheWestWing tonight, ironically on primary day. #BartletForever #ButWhyDoesItHaveToEnd #Season8Please #AndNine

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

But he said there was no collusion!! #EyeRoll

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

What an idiot. https://t.co/LzDOGE9yEX

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

The people who work at the DCCC and the DNC are every IT Director's nightmare. Don't click suspicious links!

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

Am I the only one who thinks the term "thought leader" sounds slightly Orwellian?

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

One of the happiest and saddest things is when you've finished a book and feel like you lost a friend.

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

People who have Yeti brand products want you to know how much money they spent by calling everything "my Yeti" instead of "my water bottle" or "my cooler". It's a fact.

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

Shaun White!!! #OlympicGames2018

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

Trump says he only wants immigrants who want to work, but he also said they are "taking all our jobs", so I'm confused. #SOTU

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

Stop trying to make coal happen. It's not going to happen. *in my best Mean Girls voice* #SOTU

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

"Socrates hates writing because he thinks it’s going to kill memory...And he’s right. Writing absolutely killed memory. But think of all the incredible things we got because of writing." https://t.co/a2c7XQZPDa

[Sarah Salyer @s_salyer]

Oh man, I love this episode of #XFiles