Simon

[Simon @s_stanway]

Well what the fuck deven

[Natalie @FalcoNat38]

ooh i’m zohran mamdani. my wife is hot. my favorite soccer team won the league for the first time in 22 years. my favorite basketball team won the championship for the first time in 53 years. fuck you man.

[lillian @larsanthem]

And then two of her sons threw her under the bus to earn clout with a pedophile

[Adrian Zahir⚡ @ForwardsMarch]

IMAGINE SENDING 20 WARSHIPS TO INTERCEPT BOATS CARRYING MILK POWDER AND BABY FORMULA FOR STARVING CHILDREN. THIS IS THE GREATEST EVIL EXISTING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW!!!!!

[Simon @s_stanway]

2TB starting to feel more like 500GB, and that’s on inflation

[Depressed Cowboys Fan @ChickenColeman3]

Bruh just get the damn vaccine. The government not tryna kill you you still owe $30K on that V6 Dodge Charger

[Simon @s_stanway]

Excited to safely blast Olivia Rodrigo in a car with the homies

[Noodin Ndizhnikaas @JoshNoodin]

All my stories about #MMIWG2S were removed off @instagram. Silencing people from sharing truths is violence.

[Ben & Jerry's @benandjerrys]

Racism is a virus.

The devastating recent rise in anti-Asian American hate crimes is a direct result of underlying racism so many of our current leaders have stoked by baselessly blaming COVID-19 on Asians. (1/4)

[Flexington Ave Local @Dr_TacoMD]

i need whatever drugs the adidas partnerships team is smoking, expeditiously

[Patagonia @patagonia]

Thanks, @tedcruz, for supporting our mission to Save our Home Planet by choosing a Snap-T made out of 100% post-consumer recycled bottles while also giving 1% for the planet with your purchase.

If you decide it isn’t the right fit for you we’d be happy to buy it back @wornwear.

[L.A.S. @SartoriallyInc]

i’m caramelizing onions instead of going to therapy

[Beytwicé @lotoysrus]

Why y’all keep asking where the police at? Y’all ask where Miley’s at when Hannah’s on stage?

[Olivia Craighead @oliviacraighead]

alex trebek was proof that you can be a kind person who also bullies nerds, 100% legend

[L.A.S. @SartoriallyInc]

rest in peace u dead bitch

[eric curtin @dubstep4dads]

(drops forklift certification card in front of hot girl) haha wooops sorry. accident. it's real btw

[Simon @s_stanway]

If covid uprooting everything I know and love isn’t the most 2020 thing to happen to me, getting hacked on an inactive account sure is. Sorry everyone. Also please buy my ray bans. My family is starving.

[Burger King @BurgerKing]

breathe the farts of change

[kelpy 🐌 @kelp_b]

the plan? stop testing patients for coronavirus to make the number of active cases go down

[Throwing Fits @ThrowingFits]

"fuck you, open your purse"

@topshelftyson on the evolution of flex in 2020

new ep 👇
apple: https://t.co/h9z0OZUVTc
spotify: https://t.co/VZAQJskXxG