⚘ sam ⚘

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

replying to messages instantly makes me feel like i’m a dog humping their leg

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

the fact that 17+7 = 24 just doesn’t sit right with me

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

i could spend hours if not days talking about palace lyrics and guitar tone and vocals and everything else and and and and

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

full-time blobbing it

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

sometimes you just need a handful of a man’s ass

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

when is rains i want to sit in an empty cathedral

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

if i had chickens i would probably hug them and stuff or even give them some corn maybe! 😊

[✧ @cessonmute]

Women are sharing live locations, checking the backseats of cars, carrying their keys between their knuckles and holding their hands over their drinks.

Men are doing 3 hour podcasts about how unfair it is that women don't smile at them.

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

@JordanCarter95 @EFCevie he’s the one who’s ruining it by doing it?? the home is already broken if their father is attempting to / already cheating, it’s a poor example of love for the children to look up to, better off without the scumbag tbh

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

at the big age of 20 i just called my flatmate down at midnight because i heard a scary noise outside x

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

you spend the first 5 years trying to get with the plan and the next 5 years trying to to be with your friends again

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

if being a ladybug was a crime i would sadly not be incarcerated ☹️

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

saying “i’ll lamp you” is the best and only way to threaten someone

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

just misspelled the same word 3 times in a chat with 200 people

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

feeling maternal toward the horse chess piece

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

the boys are back in town!! and by the boys let’s just sayyy lychees and by in town i meaaaan my fridge!!

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

just spelt something wrong in an email ☹️ idiot girl they will call me forever and ever

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

accidentally replied to a message the second it came through now everyone thinks i’m an impatient pervert who should be cast into the fire

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

i have spent numerous hours bashing a balloon around and i completely understand why animals need enrichment

[⚘ sam ⚘ @saaamwatts]

i wish my name was baba slaga