SAM 🌟

Pro Oxford comma.

[Luis Vercetti @97Vercetti]

me knowing everything is going to work out because I saw 11:11 on the microwave

[S̲uper H̲uman A̲utomated Y̲odeler @_indica_sky]

i’m like if a corpse was high-functioning

[bobby @bobbylikesbeers]

shaving my entire body before I go play trivia at the dive bar

[𝔙𝔞𝔪𝔭 @bIoodFr4ak]

a special place in hell? for me? that's actually really thoughtful

[meghan @deloisivete]

Protein drink? You mean prosecco and a piece of cheese

[scarlett🪾 @hollowandholy]

I’m a human being in the same way a tomato is a fruit

[Nik 🪐 @gemzcore]

hot girls are single and have no valentines

[Annie Wu (all socials: @annie_wu_22) @Annie_Wu_22]

“wHaT RaDiCaLiZeD yOu?”

idk, im not a piece of shit

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

Holy shit, this “American girl” ad from @senecaprojectus is amazing!!!
Hard to see the letters I’m typing through the tears streaming down my face though.

[captionquirk @CaptionQuirk]

this is the week I’m having btw

[SAM 🌟 @sachsta]

My spotify wrapped this year is about to be all lawn mower yard work white sock new balance dad music

[SAM 🌟 @sachsta]

I never thought owning a house at 27 would mean fighting with my township’s “shade tree commission” would be my biggest annoyance but yet here I am 🥲

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

Saturday night after you turn 27

[☔ @Whotfismick]

another day of existing

[SAM 🌟 @sachsta]

Being a new homeowner is realizing the things you thought were expensive are actually relatively cheap and the things you thought were cheap are actually relatively expensive. I’m looking at you, door knobs and bathtub 👀

[SAM 🌟 @sachsta]

Adulthood for me is when my ideal Sunday is spent at the gym and then buying bath towels and hand soap 😌

[SAM 🌟 @sachsta]

Gonna start doing these again just to feel something

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

i’m afraid i peaked here