Sadiq Samani

Pakistani immigrant taking stand up comedy jobs away from American comedians.

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

@cenkuygur I love your debating style! Do you recommend any books/videos that teach techniques you're using? I love @JayHeinrichs "Thank You For Arguing", but I would love to get recs from you 😊. Thanks!

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

What are Jewish space lasers used for? Circumcisions that are out of this world.

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

I thought this girl was joking about being a plant mom, but then she breastfed her fern.

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

Tom Brady has now won 7/11 Super Bowls. It’s his, Thank you, come again, Super Bowl.

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

If you’re Muslim, now is the best time to fly since 9/11. TSA is busy profiling white people.

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

Someone wake up Joe Biden and tell him he won.

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

God blessed Moses with commandments and blessed Trump with a virus.

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

By tomorrow, Ronald Reagan will test positive for corona.

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

Chris Wallace looks like he’s about to give Trump a timeout.

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

"I'm not racist, but here is my thinly veiled racist take on Breonna Taylor" posts are trending on social media right now.

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

Scientists have discovered evidence of life on Venus. They found a handbag with tampons, a toothbrush, phone charger, a couple of bobby pins, and a half a stick of gum.

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

Humans of New York meets Animal of New York.

📸 @lucas.hoeffel

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#sadiqsamani #comedy #comedian #standup #standupcomedy #standupcomic #standupcomedy #comedylife #comedygrind #comedyclub #newyorkcomedy #nyccomedy #lacomedy #chicagocomedy #p… https://t.co/xiwq3G7eft

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

Bloomberg is spending $100 million to help Biden’s presidential run. $90 million of it will be spent on Red Bull and Adderall, to keep Biden awake during the debates.

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

I’ve been processing a tough breakup with someone I was deeeeeeply in love with (if you were in a pandemic breakup, raise your hand ✋). It would be great if I was a musician. I could turn the tragedy into a poetic love song for all my SoundCloud fans… https://t.co/A7KMVzhIiU

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

I’ve been processing a tough breakup with someone I was deeply in love with. Read my new hit single “Zoe - A Comedian’s Breakup Song”. Exclusively at

https://t.co/TO0xAvFe5Z

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

At this time every year I’m on a bus traveling from Reno to Black Rock City. Burning Man isn’t happening this year, but last year I unofficially officiated a Jewish-Christian wedding in the desert. Which means their kid is gonna be Muslim.

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#s… https://t.co/AF5WtEIjU6

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

First social distancing comedy show since the pandemic. It feels like telling jokes on a baseball diamond. I finished my set with a few hits, a couple of strikes, and a home run in the 4th.

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#sadiqsamani #comedy #comedian #standup #standupcome… https://t.co/1V5yHPGXhz

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

What do you get when you mix an episode with a black queer person and a brown queer immigrant? A get out of Twitter jail card. We can say whatever we want suckkkaaaas! Black Lives Matter, queer life, our religious upbringing. We’re talking all the bases … https://t.co/pyIFTkR3ty

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

A friend texted me and asked if everything was okay with me because they haven’t seen me post on social media lately. No worries, I’m all good 😋. Also, if I ever do go missing, please use this photo on milk cartons and activate Find My iPad.
📸 @sunda… https://t.co/Vyl2nnmhRZ

[Sadiq Samani @sadiqsamani]

Anyone else in tech have this issue? Every time I read something about police brutality and see the acronym FTP, I don't think, "Fuck the Police". I think, "The police are assaulting citizens with File Transfer Protocol? What's next? Spraying us with HTTP?!"