Elise

19 • she/her • frontwoman of amdusias • niche internet microcelebrity for people with mental illness

[Elise @saintejame]

for those that are attending tonight’s celebration of life, thank you for being there. i doubt i can make it due to a personal emergency. hopefully i’ll see most of you tomorrow. please give everyone there a little extra love for me.

[Elise @saintejame]

@kaytorade …all of em??? 😟

[Elise @saintejame]

@kaytorade no babe i do the same shit i wasn’t actually upset you just have work and need sleep you silly goose

[Elise @saintejame]

so mad i have to keep saying this but allergic reactions and anaphylaxis are not funny. seeing people post memes about something that killed me for a few minutes just makes my skin crawl. if i see more of y’all posting those jokes i’m just silently blocking you and moving on

[Elise @saintejame]

@nerdeebirdee if hearing about the events and what happens would help you feel more at peace, you can message me and i’ll try to help out! a lot of people in a lot of places love jules, so let’s lean on each other

[Elise @saintejame]

none of you can ever tell me i that i cope with loss well because my face is so red and swollen from crying that my parents forgot my friend died and were convinced i was going into anaphylactic shock and needed to go to the er

[Elise @saintejame]

i have an entire career because of my religious trauma so i’ll be honest and say i have no fucking clue what i believe happens after death. but i hope somehow jules can hear how everyone talks about her right now. she is so much more than loved

[Elise @saintejame]

@belmont_confess had a rough day and sat near the green to people watch. saw her start walking by. i swear she stopped at least 10 times to greet different people. then she saw me, ran up, and took a minute to sit with me. it was so normal for her, but for me that moment meant so much.

[Elise @saintejame]

this is hitting harder than i realized, so i’ll be taking a general step back from socials. but i’m keeping this hellscape of an app in case there’s more info on jules or anyone that knew her wants to talk. all i want is to be in her presence again.

[Elise @saintejame]

@annevsexton no clue. we’ll figure it out though

[Elise @saintejame]

this included ruby and all of the amazing friends i shared with her. i deleted my old acc (or at least its info) because it was how i reached out to basically everyone at belmont, so i shut that out of my life. coming back just to see somebody so fucking kind and loving- (4)

[Elise @saintejame]

her passing over a discord call with my friend who’s more active in the community at belmont. i used to talk to ruby on this app with my old account, but i shut down while i was going through my own shit and shut out almost everyone and everything related to the school.- (3)

[Elise @saintejame]

devastated. i met ruby when i was still at belmont, and she was the reason i started going to shows again. she made me feel safe in a way i was unable to feel before knowing her. i’m so glad i got the privilege of knowing her and being changed by her. rest in peace jules.

[Elise @saintejame]

@kaytorade @john_carteret_ @timlessyouth 1.) jesus loves you (this we know)
2.) this is gospel
3.) wonderwall
4.) you say
5.) say something
6.) monster
7.) smells like teen spirit
8.) rise
9.) roman’s revenge
10.) sick of it

[Elise @saintejame]

what do you mean commenting on their post asking if they need a date to the fnaf movie red carpet and premiere isn’t a normal way to flirt???

[Elise @saintejame]

yes, i am a serious, professional, mature, and respected musician. yes, if my band is not contacted for the FNAF movie, i will still release all the songs that were secretly inspired by the franchise. we exist

[Elise @saintejame]

@RyeToastGames already loved your other takes, but i’m so glad you can separate your online presence from your child’s! congrats to y’all again, mad respect for keeping his privacy, and while we’re happy to hear updates, save some memories for yourselves. havin a kid is so special!