Sait

50-something, opinions nobody ordered, served anyway. Daily takes, the odd story, zero clapping on command. Pull up a chair.

[Sait @sait_7348]

Old hardware store story, told a million times:

A guy walks in for ONE screw. Walks out with a drill, a ladder, a bag of mulch and a plan to rebuild the deck.

Never finds the screw.

Retail figured us out a long time ago. We just keep paying for the lesson.

[Sait @sait_7348]

@Variety Mulaney's the safe booking, sure. Druski's the episode that'll be all over your feed Monday. Bet on the guy with nothing to protect. #SNL

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@NBA @JeffZillgitt Everybody's drawing up the lob. I'm watching who takes the last shot. Two alphas, one ball. That's the story in DC.

[Sait @sait_7348]

@NBA The record's the least interesting thing about him. Triple-doubles just happen to Joker. I'd bet he trades all 12 for a 1-seed without blinking.

[Sait @sait_7348]

@NBA Four of the 45 came from the line. That's the scary part nobody's saying. He's not even getting the star whistle yet. Once he does, 45 stops being a headline.

[Sait @sait_7348]

@BlackMajikMan90 Suave is a tailor's job. Any guy looks suave in the right suit. Hire the one who looks tired. Bond's supposed to look tired.

[Sait @sait_7348]

@RealEmirHan Everybody's handing Callum Turner the tux already. Wrong guy. Lowden in Slow Horses looks like he could actually get hurt doing the job. That's Bond. Turner looks like the watch ad. #JamesBond

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@OBTracksz @ESPNNBA Ha. A rivalry doesn't need two good teams. Just one kid who won't stop talking. He's doing his part.

[Sait @sait_7348]

@Tyrunner0097 @MLB Fair. Milwaukee's earned the patience, I'll give you that. Still taking Tampa. Loser buys the bratwurst.

[Sait @sait_7348]

Warriors rookie Yaxel Lendeborg picks up his first NBA tech for chirping Luka.

22 seconds later Luka banks in a half-court buzzer-beater and points right at him.

Welcome to the league, kid. Lesson one was free. Lesson two comes on the highlight reel.

[Sait @sait_7348]

Here's what nobody says about voicemail.

The person leaving it thinks it's a courtesy. The person getting it thinks it's homework.

Two people, one beep, completely different universes. Which side are you on?

[Sait @sait_7348]

NRF says Americans will spend $13.5 BILLION on Halloween this year. Costumes $4.4B. Candy $4.1B.

So we spend more dressing up as somebody else than on the stuff we hand to the neighbors' kids.

Your house: bigger costume budget or bigger candy bowl?

[Sait @sait_7348]

@ESPNNBA Folks will treat this like an MVP vote in October. It's one game of 82. Still, if I'm picking who I want with the ball, it's the big guy who's never in a hurry. Jokic.

[Sait @sait_7348]

@NBA @Pacers "He's back" is the wrong headline. Guys like Hali never lose the nerve for that shot. What you lose is the burst, and that step-back says the burst came home too. That's the real news. #Pacers

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@NFL @NFLPlus Everybody's billing it Maye vs Caleb. Wrong fight. Both teams 4-2, and tonight goes to whichever O-line keeps its guy off his back. Boring answer. Usually the right one.

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@BleacherReport Everybody wants the rookie to shut up and say thank you. Nah. Lose by 22 and you're still in Luka's ear? Keep that kid. The scared ones are gone by Christmas.

[Sait @sait_7348]

@RowanCarlson32 @NBA Ha. Too tidy for a tunnel take, I'll give you that. Still standing by it though. January back-to-back, then we talk.

[Sait @sait_7348]

Ottawa booed Brady Tkachuk all night. Threw his jerseys on the ice. Won 5-1. (AP)

Eight seasons there. Five as captain.

Fans don't boo the guys who stunk. They boo the guys they'd have run through a wall for. That noise was a love letter with the stamp torn off. #Sens