Sally Drummond

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

#Thewalkingdead

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

I'm a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity. http://t.co/89e0ZxXQQG

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

http://t.co/oLOcNfZQzd *Closes app. Immediately reopens the same app*

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

http://t.co/5bpUKL5eJZ Websites never remember me :(

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

There is nothing worse than watching the new guy at Subway make your sandwich. http://t.co/HyZBHxT7kU

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

If you see someone crying, ask if it's because of their haircut. http://t.co/DhhJZhow3E

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

"Send me the link" means "do not ask me to sit here for 6 minutes and watch this shit now." http://t.co/5hFprIiQKO

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

http://t.co/EL6qjlprSJ I think self checkout was invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

In Hidden Valley, childhood obesity is covered up in creamy ranch dressing. http://t.co/ClG5dOmxUY

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

http://t.co/Dtyj92yXAp In Hidden Valley, childhood obesity is covered up in creamy ranch dressing.

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to "cheek his paperwork". http://t.co/UNYYamBQsE

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

http://t.co/CCuNCZDqe9 It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

Dad: i don't know why you wear a bra-you've got nothing to put in it. MUM: you wear pants don't you? http://t.co/cSnvRn8yFw

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence? http://t.co/bjxbXeRfta

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

http://t.co/58Dq7K04qP I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman.

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

http://t.co/jB8Dj5VbJC Dad: i don't know why you wear a bra-you've got nothing to put in it. MUM: you wear pants don't you?

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

Oh stop it! I'm not superficial. I'm just ficial. http://t.co/JrQOee12

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

http://t.co/NyNDi6ct I eat those silica gel packets because consumer electronics are not the boss of me.

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

http://t.co/jNNyrvCf I often wish I could go back to a simpler time when I wasn't so nostalgic.

[Sally Drummond @saldru]

Why does Bruce Willis always play the bald guy? http://t.co/tIX8dXbI