I keep sabotaging what I love,
trying to fly solo.
God, I’m terrified of flying solo.
So why do I test them?
How much fire can I leave behind before they stop putting it out?
I’m testing who can handle me,
while knowing no one can.
I keep pushing.
I lost the happy child in me.
People hurt her until she went quiet.
The games, the movies, the way she loved, slowly faded beneath the ache.
Now I’m trying to find her again,
before the world convinces me
she’s gone for good.