Salt in the Womb

Middle-30's sassy lassy w/ ovaries that have 0 sense of humor. IVF Baby A finally arrived 10/2/2015. Bloggy lady who wants to make you laugh through it all.

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@nerdytxtop I keep waiting for Bad Janet to show up and get supremely disappointed when it doesn’t happen

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@thisonelamename “Sir, is the suspect a human?”

Boulder PD: “I don’t have details. He could’ve been a Demagorgan- it’s early in the investigation.”

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@girlsreallyrule Standing up there with Coke bottle glasses and Miss Me jeans telling me I need to work on staying attractive. Cool cool.

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@womanoftime Also...the red barrette he sent to Rami was an exact match to the one the missing wore. How would he know that unless he was the killer? There are literally 3000 types of red barrettes in the world.

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@chrissyteigen I can just see her practicing this whole speech over a cold bowl of Lucky Charms earlier that morning...

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@Madmaddingcrowd They can age her. 😂🤣

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@Madmaddingcrowd Oh agree. It won’t work for movie bc Emma’s too old now. But she sure looks like her! I approve of Amy Adams. Or even Jennifer Lawrence.

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

Unsolved Mysteries: Xavier DuPont will be hard to find because he looks like everyone and no one.

Me: Uhh he’s literally a French Steve Jobs.

#UnsolvedMysteries #xavierdupont #netflix

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@davidleavitt @Target David is the new Karen.

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@Sinclair1875 My parents call the vacuum “the sweeper” and a cordless phone “the walking phone.”

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@voorhaze Tonic’s Lemon Parade. I feel no personal shame or guilt about this, but I must keep it a secret, or I will lose my job on security grounds.

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

We all have to eat it sometime.

https://t.co/xKqcwS2xrm

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@jozelynsBa

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@CheapyD @orangetheory

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@NineDaves

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@kenolin1 This reminds me of when my 15 year old stepdaughter told me she read “Twilight” in 2 hours. I asked her to tell me one thing from the book that was different in the movie. Her response? “If I told you, you wouldn’t understand. ”

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@hardlygracie Woooooot!!!!

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@jdesmondharris Okay sure, I sometimes know where North is. But I still need Never Eat Soggy Waffles to run through my head before I know how to look East.

[Salt in the Womb @saltinthewomb]

@AngelinaBabee The first phone doesn’t matter. What matters is when I bought #14 after college with my own money I felt VERY RICH.