Sam

Sam Sammadome, owner of the Samsdale Sammadome

[esoteric fat boy @esotericfatboy]

just explained the covid concious lesbian bar hijab inspired secular accessorization clown college discourse to my mom and she just said "the cia is eating your generation alive"

[place a poppy in my hair @sevenaugustine]

listening to bad blood…. there was a time when this was the worst song she’d ever made. it’s sweet like honey to me today

[jules🪽 @itwaschemical]

since yall wanna be assholes for tony stark, taylor dies in the encore. and im not even joking

[mj ⎕ @cowboyylikemj]

Taylor I promise you I’ll personally defend you if you release good songs about how you truly feel about Matty marrying 2 weeks after you did

[kate @1989KISSY]

If i had a dollar for everytime taylor swift released the worst song of her career the day that avengers endgame came out

[ivy 🫧 @theIesbianqueen]

it is so fucking funny that she’s written like 3 songs about her husband that are all like “isn’t it so awesome how he plays football and has a podcast?” and then writes dozens of incredible songs abt her situationship from 3 years ago. never change diva

[elle🐞⋆⭒˚.⋆ ☮︎ @ellyrundqwist]

hate on jack antonoff all you like but he never would’ve let this happen

[Chunky Drunky @hunterpork]

Didn’t let a car merge on the highway because it had an Israeli flag bumper sticker and 5 seconds later it crashed

[roo @rootemperature]

why do they keep making me retake the sexual harassment training at work i already know how to do all of this

[Mia Perfect 😊 @wormlover92]

Saying fuck during sex is kind of like saying parkour when you’re doing parkour. Wow. Someone has definitely said this before

[💌 @Iikeapattern]

would never relinquish my swiftie duties…but after 20 years sometimes you just have to say that’s nice honey and press play on state of grace.

[arielle @ellycelly]

okay I’ll be honest I did not predict Travis Kelce becoming the Yoko Ono of the 21st century

[drem @_illdrewminati]

@magicalthinker_ exclusively gay australians is crazy

[Freakyy 🖤 @freakyycl0ut]

"you get wet from kissing?" i get wet from looking at him doing things

[lila 🫧く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡 @dopposflower]

six seven can be unfunny but i do find it funny when the number is said and a bunch of grown people in the room just quietly do the hand motion without even changing their neutral expression like the koopas when the bg music goes "bah bah!"

[Jasmine @_jasminepetrou]

Kirking 9 to 5 what a way to 9/11

[🔞Deborah @DeborahLoaf]

jellyfish: ay yo get off my head !!🪼

crab: 67!!!67!!!!!!!!!🦀

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Once in a blue moon it’s fun to infiltrate girls night with my wife. You can drink 17 beers and no one once starts talking about killing themselves or some kind of great fire that cleanses the world. They got me doing Fiona Apple karaoke

[Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 @cmclymer]

I keep watching the first few seconds of this when the camera pans over to the duck and can’t stop laughing.