sal

i be simpin

[sal @salvy412]

yee, and i cannot stress this enough, haw

[sal @salvy412]

Sorry babe I couldn’t get you the birkin but I did get you the Vera Bradley

[sal @salvy412]

New TikTok series where I review different things I stole from my job

[sal @salvy412]

Me practicing my Tony soprano and Christopher moltisanti impressions so I can talk to myself

[sal @salvy412]

Half Nelson Mandela

[sal @salvy412]

Unemployed dudes up today

[sal @salvy412]

She called my meatcute so I put her in a movie

[sal @salvy412]

I’m the type to eat a chicken parm at 10am and not flinch

[sal @salvy412]

Chill dude it’s cool we’re just riffing

[sal @salvy412]

26 year old white male who calls anyone and everyone twin

[sal @salvy412]

Need an iv drip of microplastics

[sal @salvy412]

White people love posting a throwback of them at the beach and saying “mentally I’m here”

[sal @salvy412]

Not much of a winner but I sure love da feet

[sal @salvy412]

Before ai we had wet dreams

[sal @salvy412]

Donkey I’ve been framemogged by Prince Charming

[sal @salvy412]

Smokin on that shit that made doves cry

[sal @salvy412]

Smokin on that shit that made gaba gool

[wolfgang fuckface @mustachetoilet]

I miss them so much

[sal @salvy412]

Popped a blue chew I’m sweatin

[sal @salvy412]

this ass is farm to table

[sal @salvy412]

“what flavor zynnaccino would you like honey?” that’s when i knew i peaked